It Sucks When The Boy You’ve Been Texting Forever Starts Dating Somebody Else


You know you didn’t have an official relationship. You barely even saw each other in person.

But you spent hours texting. Didn’t that mean anything? If he went out of his way to talk to you pretty much every day for the last few months, didn’t that mean he liked you? Didn’t that mean that he was willing to put in effort, to take time out of his day, to keep you interested?

If he didn’t want anything to do with you, then he could have ignored your messages. He could have refrained from sending the first text. He could have easily cut you out of his life instead of talking to you nonstop.

It’s not like the texts were tame, either. You didn’t give one-word answers to each other. You flirted. You made it clear that you had an interest in each other.

That’s why you’re so confused now that he’s started dating somebody else. You wonder if he was hoping that he would be with you instead, but decided to settle for this other girl because you never made a move. Because he assumed he didn’t have a chance with you.

Or… you wonder if he didn’t make plans to see you in person on purpose. If he liked texting you, but couldn’t imagine creating something real with you. If he only used your texts to pass the time when he was feeling bored and lonely.

You wonder if you could have done something to change the present. Maybe if you would have cleared time in your schedule, you two would have hung out in person more. Maybe if you actually asked him to come over, he would have realized you were serious about him. Maybe if you were a little more forward, you two would be dating now.

It sucks to learn that the person you’ve been flirting with over the phone for months has decided to date somebody else.

It sucks, because you don’t know if you should even bother to text him anymore, because you know your relationship is about to change. You know the flirting can no longer continue.

It sucks, because you feel like you’ve wasted a large chunk of time on him. Even though never went out on any dates with him, you still spent a lot of time on him. You still lost sleep messaging him. You still used up data texting him.

It sucks, because you didn’t think there was a time limit you had to meet before being pushed to the side. You thought that he was only interested in you, that he was going to take his time and ask you out when he was ready. You didn’t realize he was ready all along — except not for you.

It sucks when the boy you’ve been texting forever starts dating somebody else, because you once thought those messages meant something, but now you realize they didn’t mean anything at all.

At least, they didn’t mean enough to make him stay.

Holly Riordan is the author of Lifeless Souls, available here.