A weekend not too long ago, I went to the cinema and took in Harmony Korine’s gorgeous-looking and -sounding joyride of a mainstream-appeal arthouse instant cult classic, Spring Breakers. And it was whilst unexpectedly viewing James Franco, gold-grilled and cornrowed almost past recognition, playfully deepthroating two pistols wielded by his future threesome partners that I realized: “Wow, James Franco, what a scottie too-hottie!” So I researched this, and it turns out, the internet agrees with me. I’ve been watching James Franco interviews constantly for the weeks since, obsessively filling nearly every waking hour in this exaggeration for comic effect watching all of Franco’s many insightful interviews, photoshoots, and zany personal vids from the man himself on YouTube, and I’ve compiled a few of my favorites from the comments sections of these videos, a veritable hotbed of sexual Franco enthusiasm. Dig in.
“James Franco please give me babies.” – YouTube commenter “archifx”
“DO ME JAMES, PLEASE!!!” – YouTube commenter “mistermtm mtm”
“me too. i’m black and i think he’s sexy!!!” – YouTube commenter “KoalaCammie”
“Love his hands. Of course face too, but his hands are just so nice! big warm and manly.” – YouTube commenter “Fiona C”
“I will sell my mum to meet James Franco….whoa!!” – YouTube commenter “nokoye2009”
“he’s hot but don’t like his hands lol” – YouTube commenter “TheRocknRollZebra”
“im a boy.im straight and i think hes hot” – YouTube commenter “simonejordysgaming”
“He’s so weird! But i still love him.” – YouTube commenter “PoochMount18”
“i would sneak into his house, steal a pair of his dirty boxers, and wear them like hedgear while i sleep. or put them in the freezer and frame them. thats how fucking hot he is.” – YouTube commenter “ElectrikkPaperClipxx”
“i wold to like sex this hunk he is hot very” – YouTube commenter “rajveer890”
“I feel like he is so hot that he would break cameras. I bet they have to use special Franco cameras to capture his sexiness.” – YouTube commenter “majesticalpants”
“He has one of the best asses ever on the planet.” – YouTube commenter “ItBrandonSilver”
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