Let Me Warn You, I’m Difficult To Love


Let me warn you, I’m very difficult to love.

Trust me, I’m the most beautiful disaster you ever laid your eyes upon.

Some days I’ll stay up at night sobbing over a beautiful piece of poetry. I’ll try to split your heart open when you tell me you love me just to make sure you do. I’ll drink till there is blood in my alcohol stream, and sometimes I’ll let my midnight coffee keep me awake at night while I stare at the stars and the moon and out into the galaxy that envelopes us all.

Some days, I’ll let you examine the ruins of the wreckage left behind by the people who used to be, and some days I’ll let you gaze at the masterpiece that I am. I’ll ask you questions about the mysteries of the human mind, and some days I will be that mystery myself, and I’ll let you loose in the labyrinth that I hide inside.

Some days, I’ll hide in the closet and refuse to let you touch me, with your hands or your eyes, but if you are lucky, I’ll be the sunshine bursting through the curtains, all smiles and hugs.

Yes, some days will be very hard, you will have to show me why I’m worthy of love, not because of what I say or what I do, but because of what I am, and you will have to hug me like I’m a child and water me like I’m a dying flower.

And some days you can to kiss me softly, but most days you will have to kiss me like you cannot live another second without kissing me, like your life depends upon it, you have to want me the way a drowning man yearns for air in his lungs, the way the moon years for the ocean, and the way the night sky yearns for the break of dawn.