Love The Things I Can’t Change About Myself
By Rania Naim
Love me when I have no filter. When I’m not as calculated as you’d like me to be, when I don’t always wait for the right moment to say things, when I can’t help but be blunt sometimes because something is bothering me and I need to get it off my chest. Love how I can’t really hide my emotions or how my eyes give everything away. Love me unfiltered, unscripted, love me when I’m being real.
Love me with my sensitivity. Love the way I take some jokes personally or how I get defensive when someone insults my work. Love me when I’m crying for no good reason, I’m always overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings and sometimes tears are the only answer. Love the things you can’t understand about me and the things I can’t understand about myself.
Love the way I love you.
Don’t call me needy because I want to spend a lot of time with you and don’t call me crazy if I’m always texting you random things throughout the day. Love the way I’ll give too much too soon, or how invested I’ll be once my heart decides to love you and love how I’ll always tell you why I love you and show you how much I do.
Because I know I have a lot to work on and a lot of things to change but I can’t tell you when or how I’ll change them but I do want to know that you’ll be there regardless.
Love me as I change for the better, as I try to be calmer, more understanding, maybe more mature. Stay by my side as I try to fix myself because your presence is all I need to work on myself.
Maybe you could be the reason why I want to change, maybe you could be the reason I stop being so lazy with myself, because I don’t need your sympathy or your advice — I just need your love.
I need to know that it’s okay if I mess up sometimes, it’s okay if I don’t have my shit together, it’s okay if it’s taking me a little longer to catch up with the rest of the world because you’re waiting for me, you’re not giving up on me and you’re not finding the nearest exit to run away.
I need to know that even if someone better came along, you’d still pick me.
I need to know that even if someone had everything that I don’t, you won’t love me any less. Because when you love the things I can’t change about myself, you don’t realize the power it gives me to actually change them for you.
It’s backwards I know, but sometimes all we need is reassurance; that on the days it’s hard for us to change and we go back to being these flawed human beings, the people we love will still be there and will continue to love us no matter what.