Maybe You Never Really Loved Him

Have you ever loved someone so much, but then nothing at all? You thought you would trade the world only to be with him, then suddenly you even care more about the cavity in the wall rather than the fact that he was not feeling well?

At first you thought that it must be nice to be with him, that you can (or already) love this person in time. You told your friends about him and when they say bad things he’s involved in, you defended him in any ways you could and you told yourself that maybe they just didn’t know him as well as you do.

But then you told him about your fears. And yet, he became one.

Suddenly you started to think that maybe this is not something you want to fight for. Back then you knew that you both were so different and you wished that he could change, but all of a sudden you just get the idea that maybe he’s just not the person you wish to change. And even if he does change, you wouldn’t care.

Because you realized that you can’t be with someone who defines ‘good’ in a different way you do. You started to see that he’s living his life in a way you could never live in. and no matter how much love you both try to give each other, it seems like it will never be enough because you love in such a different way too.

Here is something you should know: all you ever need is to be loved the same way you love. Otherwise, no other kind of love matters.

That’s why it didn’t work out with him. You forced yourself to believe you love this person and you missed the possibility that maybe you just love the idea of being with someone. (Un)fortunately, he was there.

Now you’re in the middle of nowhere, wondering about the choices you’re about to face; to the left where there’s nothing right, or to the right where there’s nothing left. And no one seems to know which way you should put your step in, neither do you.

So you thought you chose one, you thought you stopped loving him.

But have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, you never loved him at all?