My Love For You Never Went Away

By

Oh lord, help me breathe,

He’s got a girl wrapped around him,

Oh lord, help me live,

I have to watch someone I can’t be happy without be happy with someone else.

Oh lord, help me breathe,

I have to breathe in oxygen instead of carbon monoxide,

Oh lord, help me live,

He seems to see through me as I am made of glass,

Oh lord help me disappear,

My tears look like raindrops sliding down window pane,

Oh lord help me survive,

He seems to think everything in life is a game.

Oh lord help me out with these feelings,

I am supposed to be tough but I keep slipping,

Oh lord help me breathe,

I cannot keep up with the time when he and I aren’t together

counting down the days until we start aging,

and it starts to show, on our skin, in our eyes.

Oh lord, help me, I’m starting to wear out,

And he’s not with me to kiss my tears away,

Oh lord help me breathe,

Can’t you see, can’t you see?

I’m holding onto things gone so tightly,

oh lord help me release these things into the space where you live,

Oh lord keep me some company,

Everyone has gone outside my world to smoke cigarettes without me,

Oh lord I’m sitting here alone in the darkness that never disappears,

My eyes are used to this scenery, but my heart is not,

Oh lord when will I find myself again?

I hope I arrive soon, to the place where it always rains.

Oh lord help me dream,

Of places where I’m loved for being myself, where I’m not waiting for people who never arrive, where I’m crying and laughing and dying with a smile,

Oh lord help me to find strength to say these things I’ve never said,

I want to talk to you like we did before,

It’s been ages since we talked like this.

How sad it is to see that you’ve changed so much and I still feel the same,

I’m happy for you but I feel bad for myself,

I don’t hate you anymore, just my loneliness makes me seem like bad company,

You see I’m too used to living by myself,

After we talk for a while, you seem like like a figment of my imagination,

Nothing you say matters, nothing I say moves your heart,

It’s like we’re speaking in different languages.

I can see your lips moving but I can’t understand a word you’re saying,

No matter what you say, why do I feel like you don’t want to be here?

You must be used to better company when you’re back in your fancy city, with all those fancier people,

I would apologize for being like this, but I’ve recently decided to love myself.

What do you feel when you look in my eyes?

Are you searching for who I used to be in this aged body of mine?

Nothing has changed inside me, it’s made up of same old grievances and sacrifices nobody appreciated,

Oh lord help me breathe,

He still makes me breathless, after all these years.

I took a different path to avoid running into him, but every road leads to him in the end.