My Sincerest Apologies On Behalf Of All Millennials
Entitled. Spoiled. Lazy. Narcissistic. Absolute trash. No, I’m not describing my ex-boyfriend, although those terms all apply, I’m talking about my generation and all the nasty things boomers have to say about us.
Look, I get it. You guys were excellent in every way, worked hard, shut up, weren’t picky and ahem (ruined many things like the property market and the economy be refusing to pay taxes, etc.), were perfect and I completely understand why you’re holding a pretty sick grudge against us. I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with your own anxieties and fear of change because moving forward is horrendous.
You’re right. We really are the sewage tip of the world. I’m putting my hand up now and apologizing for every single damn one of us. And these are the reasons on behalf of all millennials, I’m sorry.
We’re Sorry For Feeling Entitled to A Job
It’s just, you know, we were told in high school we had to work our arses off towards receiving a high enough HSC mark to get into the degree we wanted to pursue the career we were interested in (Trying saying that ten times real fast). We then studied our literal pants off (that, and I couldn’t afford pants while at uni) towards our undergraduate bachelor’s degree, whilst also maintaining a job at the local bar and literally licking the beer taps when no-one’s looking because there’s a steak in every beer and we’re goddamn hungry.
Some of us then choose to do further study like our masters to really set us apart above other candidates and teach us further knowledge and skills to excel in our career.
I mean, it’s crazy to assume that educating us with the skillset and knowledge needed over years of written and practical work through a uni degree would result in an actual position that required it in the first place. What the fuck were we thinking?
Sorry We Aren’t Buying Houses and Living the Materialistic Dream
It really is our exuberant lifestyle, our love of smashed avocado and other excesses that have stopped us from buying a home and living the dream. It has nothing to do with the fact that we are 20% worse off in terms of income than our predecessors despite the fact that we are far better educated and 1 in 5 millennials are living in poverty. I mean because the median house prices here in Australia are about $658,608, or in Sydney which will set you back over the 1-million-dollar mark, that shouldn’t deter us, right? We could easily get together the 200k deposit for that while paying off our HECS debt, our current bills, our stupid amount in rent, etc., on the shit income we do have because our salary is peanuts because we weren’t “experienced” enough in the first place.
Sorry We Value Balancing Work and Life
I know, I know. It’s so rude of us that we don’t want to start at 6 am and leave at midnight at our jobs, even though you won’t pay us overtime. It’s weird we’re not willing to sacrifice our only day off on the weekends to come in and help you out on that proposal. And it’s absolute fucking insanity that we actually expect to take our yearly holidays and crazy shit like that.
For some reason, we tend to have the mindset that it doesn’t matter how much money we have or how hard we all worked in our life because that’s not what we are going to think about on our deathbed. It’s our completely selfish outlook that we’re actually going to be thinking of the precious moments we spent with our loved ones instead.
We’re Sorry That All We Do Is Document Our Lives Online
Yeah, sorry about being tech savvy and all that. It’s really annoying that we are up to date with all the online trends and what’s happening on social media channels. We are pretty much the Devil for being good at self-promoting and getting likes and engagement and shares on what we post. I mean, it would be absurd to employ someone that people actually follow, relate to, and look up to.
Unfortunately, whether businesses wish to accept it or not, we are living in a digital era and people seek the answers to their questions online and in real-time. By embracing social media and other digital aspects can only be beneficial for businesses. But definitely don’t employ a millennial who is an expert in the area. That’s nuts.