Never Been Kissed, And I Don’t Mind


I am eighteen years old, and I have never been kissed.

To add to the list of things I’ve never done, neither have I ever had a boyfriend, a fling, nor anything so much as an “MU” (a.k.a. “mutual understanding”). And no, I’m not a lesbian nor have I ever had a phase, which is surprising to many when they become knowledgeable of my private Catholic all-girls high school roots.

“What! Are you serious?!” is the usual response when I reveal about my virgin lip status. I suppose it comes off as shocking to most as I don’t fit the perceived aloof recluse image of someone who has never had a significant other. In fact, my stereotype at home and in school is the confident, spirited social butterfly.

So why not?

It’s not as if there has never been the opportunity. I have broken # hearts (I am embarrassed to explicitly say how many), and there have been several occasions when a boy has tried to kiss me, to no avail.

I don’t have impossibly high standards, and I don’t need someone to majestically sweep me off my feet. It’s just that I haven’t found someone who compliments me in all the ways that count. In my opinion, love isn’t about finding someone better, but finding the guy who’ll make me better.

When I have my first kiss, it won’t be because he finds me super hot in that little red dress I wore at a party. It will happen because it means something more than a one-night make-out session. It will be the beginning of something beautiful and worthwhile (and not something that will last a couple of months). Needless to say, those are pretty big shoes to fill, and I’m in no hurry.

Believe it or not, I’m not a rarity. I belong to a minority of girls who, like me, are not so willing to lock lips with anyone and treat it like it’s not a big deal. We belong to a culture that immediately associates being single as lonely, and it frustrates me.

You are in charge of your own happiness. A man should compliment you, not define your life’s existence. I believe the fastest way to not be single is to be happy that you are. There is nothing more attractive than an independent, confident young lady, who is happy with the way she is.

Valentines’ Day— or Single Awareness Day, for some—is right around the corner. Sometimes, I must admit that I catch myself wondering how/when/if I’ll ever find my special someone. Maybe I’ve never been kissed because my heart has been broken before, and it gets harder to fall with each time I love. Maybe I’m too distracted with school, or the timing has always been wrong.

Maybe this time I’ll have someone to watch a sappy rom-com with as we cuddle on the couch in my living room. Or maybe I’ll spend it alone in my bedroom playing Taylor Swift on repeat. Either way, my relationship status won’t define who I am. It never will, but I know love will eventually happen. One day, the universe and I will finally get it right.

And the wait will be totally worth it.