No, I Don’t Love Life All The Time (And That’s Okay)

Not all the time at least.

In fact, I hate it sometimes. I fucking hate it.

No, I don’t love life.

Sometimes life is shitty. I get angry. Sad. Terribly frustrated. Confused. Scared. Worried. Anxious. Lost. All the scary emotions. Those don’t make me jump for joy.

No, I don’t love life.

I am not like those who wake up, take a selfie, put it on Instagram with captions like, “Hey, let’s be grateful today people! Isn’t Monday awesome?!”

No, I don’t love life.

In fact, I find those types of people are kind of annoying. I suspect most of them are lying anyway, especially the ones who are in the “self-help” business where they seem to love life every day for some unknown reason.

No, I don’t love life.

I have problems. I bet you do too. Heck, believe it or not, a lot of my problems are not even my problems. Others somehow find a problem for me, with me. And it’s not even my fault. No really, it’s not even my fault. It literally never has anything to do with me. So excuse me if I just, for once, do not want to accept responsibility for “everything.” Make them do it instead.

No, I don’t love life.

That means to say, I don’t love some people, especially the bullies. In fact, I hate them. Yes. Hate. I used that ugly word. And I do not wish them a happy life. Problem?

No, I don’t love life.

I am unhappy sometimes. Hell, I am unhappy many times.

But…

That’s okay.

I may not be as positive as some people brand themselves as, but that’s okay.

I may not be as cheerful as some people who are always rar-raring all sorts of things, but that’s okay.

I may not be as friendly as some people are, but that’s okay.

I may not be as energetic as some people, but that’s okay.

I may not be as cooperative as some people seem to be, but that’s okay.

I may not be following what a bunch of self-help books say, but that’s okay.

I may not be smiling like some people do, but that’s okay.

Because I am human. Nay, I am more than that. I am me.

And that means I am capable of being many things, in my own way.

I can be interested. I can be curious. I can be talkative. I can be tired enough to enjoy sleeping in. I can be a failure so I can learn. I can be civil. I can be sensible. I can be forgiving. I can be distracted by cool shit. I can have sex. I can love someone. I can crack open a cold one. I can feel like not giving a fuck sometimes. I can travel the world. I can have some fun.

I can be whatever I want to be, good or bad, as long it’s from me.

And I believe… I can take my time.

No, I don’t love life all the time.

But I still have time.