No One Wants To Settle, And You Shouldn’t Have To


“I want someone who intimidates me.” – overheard in a Washington, DC restaurant

Those words got to me – cut like a knife through the frenzied din of chatter and of servers bustling to and fro.

Those six words – heard suddenly, and out of context – nonetheless went to the core of it – identified the very essence of attraction.

Nobody wants to date an equal.

No, we’re all looking for someone to look up to.

Someone who pushes us, inspires us, maybe even frightens us.

Because the harsh, bitter truth is, attraction isn’t a choice. Rather, it’s a visceral, emotional response.

It’s that elusive chemistry, that spark – it’s either there or it’s not.

And no one wants to settle. Nor, frankly, should they.

Steve Jobs once said, “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”

That is one of the most motivational quotes I’ve read. Time is short – your job is to make the most of it.

But for relationships? Matters of the heart? Of love? (Or lust?)

I’ll go with the above.

So whatever you do today, this week, this summer – work towards becoming impressive.

Already are? Work towards becoming even more so.

Inventory your strengths and weaknesses, and work feverishly to improve both.

It could be your job, your art, your dancing, your diet, your beauty or workout routine.

This summer – put in the work.

So that you’re ready.

And the next time you meet a stranger who strikes your fancy, or makes your heart skip that extra beat, you can just smile to yourself.

Because you know, to the depth of your core, that you are the prize.

This time, you are the intimidating one.