Our Modern-Day 7 Deadly Sins

1. Privilege.

You have advantages in society that you refuse to admit to yourself or to others. The idea of an even playing field sounds more like reality to you than the idea that the doors to success are not open to everyone. To you the United States is the land of equal opportunity. You truly believe that all of those that don’t have your advantages in society just aren’t working hard enough for them.

2. Photo Obsession.

No matter what you’re doing, you’re always taking pictures. Eating a sandwich? Picture. Going to the beach? Lots of pictures. Going to a party? Photo shoot. You need to show everyone how much fun you’re having at this party, even though you’ve spent the majority of the time taking pictures to show the fun that you aren’t actually having. You live your life through a lens. You’re mostly trying to convince yourself that you’re having a good time.

3. Online Thuggery.

You fight all of your battles in the virtual world. You say things that you would never say in real life, because online that person can’t confront you directly. When you see the people that you fight with and insult online, in real life, the ground suddenly becomes the most interesting thing in the world because your eyes get locked on it. You can’t even look at them, because you know your tone and style wouldn’t be nearly as strong and aggressive as your online persona.

4. Conservatism.

The root of this sin lies in the belief that old traditions, that have and continue to oppress others, should be upheld. They have a “me first” attitude, and value their own green paper more than the life and security of others. Why should they share their riches with others who need it? Who cares if they live significantly more comfortable lives than many others? Empathy is rejected in conservatism — that is, unless we’re talking about empathy for other conservatives. They have to stick together somehow.

5. Lazy Activism.

You are always on the lookout for the latest controversy. Your Facebook wall is covered with posts and YouTube videos about the oppression of various groups around the world, and other hot button issues. But when you’re asked to donate money, or actually go outside to protest or take action, you are nowhere to be found. Once the media coverage and mainstream faux outrage dies down, you start searching for the next thing to talk about.

6. Raging.

Angry comments are your specialty. You leave angry, aggressive, passive-aggressive, sassy, or incredibly long comments on articles and online stories, explaining exactly how you’re smarter than the writer. You don’t actually write any articles or pieces on the topics you claim to be an expert on, but you’re the first to critique others. Sometimes you don’t even bother to read the articles that you’re commenting on. The day that you leave a positive comment on any website or Facebook page is the day that Hell will freeze over.

7. Bullying.

You find joy in hurting others. You insult people for things they can’t change or control. You attack people for how they look, who they love, and how much money they have, because you see nothing wrong with it. You drive people to hurt themselves, and in the worst case kill themselves. When that happens you act so shocked and sad, because you never really intended to hurt them, right?