Put Away The Social Media, Your Need For Instant Gratification Can Wait

We live in a world today where there is absolutely no room for patience — no room for waiting, no room for processing ever the slightest sliver of uncertainty or the slightest lull in an otherwise busy day. We expect everything to be given to us this instant and not a second later.

WiFi taking a few seconds to connect? Ugh. iPhone taking a decade and a half, roughly, to boot up after losing battery at an alarmingly fast rate? Ugh. New episode of that show you’ve been binge watching on Netflix taking more than five seconds to load? Ugh. No immediate response to that intricately clever “hey you :)” text to that cute new guy (which you obviously composed with the help of your trusted girlfriends over boozy brunch)? Ugh. No likes on your #fabulous selfie on Instagram within a millisecond of you posting it? Ugh. Right?

Sadly, in the words of Louis CK, everything is amazing and nobody’s happy. There are so many amazing technologies and amenities available to us and we are absolutely spoiled by their existence. How did people live in the Stone Age 2.0 that was essentially the 90s without iMessages and read receipts? How did everyone survive without updating their closest 400+ friends about their #instagood #instafun #healthy afternoon #snack? Like for like? Follow for follow? It must have been difficult to have to call someone instead of sending 11 elephant emojis. Words just can’t describe what a troop of 1 tiny elephants on your tiny iPhone screen can, you know?

People don’t get together to see each other and to interact face to face, people get together to sit together at a table with their respective devices and discuss what’s going on with Becky and her latest #mcm or whatnot. We’ve come to a point where we have simplified almost every possible aspect of our lives in incredible and innovative ways and still, that is not enough. We’re a greedy species and it seems the greed is never ending. We always want more, we always want it faster, but we never stop to appreciate just how super everything actually is. We’re moving at such a fast pace that we don’t stop and smell the roses along the way. We have absolutely forgotten how to communicate with each other effectively, how to be patient, how to feel and learn to embrace uncertainty. It’s such a huge part of our emotional scale that goes untapped.

We need to bring the mystery back! We all could use a healthy dose of uncertainty or mystique. We all could use the opportunity to just take a second and appreciate the moment, appreciate the now.

WiFi on the commuter rail taking a few seconds to connect? Bring a book with you. People watch and observe the strange specimens of folks that ride the train with you. Realize that a) it’s amazing that someone even decided to go through the trouble of attempting to provide WiFi to a half-awake bunch of business people sweating profusely in suits and b) the WiFi on the train is terrible even when it works so, forget about it.

iPhone dies and needs to recharge to at least 17% before turning on? Embrace it. Go outside for a second. Eat some ice cream. Stop worrying about that no doubt mind-blowing conversation you were in the middle of with Amanda about which guy from The Bachelorette is a jerk. Take a second and enjoy the lack of iPhone tones and vibrations in this moment right now.

New episode of Orange Is The New Black taking a bit to load on Netflix? Maybe 4am is a good time to stop binge watching this show. You probably have to be up for work in two hours and your 11am meeting with your supervisor will be miserable if you’re struggling to stay awake. The show won’t go anywhere! It will be right where you left it. Same browser window. Same browser tab. Go to sleep.

Cute boy not texting your back after you mustered up the courage to text him first? He could be sleeping. He could be busy. He could be ignoring you. Stop your Bloody-Mary-fueled rage early on. Call him. If he doesn’t pick up or call you back, he’s not that interested anyway. Feel free to leave your number for the cute server at brunch. He did bring you all those Bloody Marys, after all. Extra spicy. Wait, who were you texting? Doesn’t even matter now. Eyes on the prize.

No likes on your latest selfie on Instagram? Who cares? You know you look good. Now take yourself out and celebrate this obvious fact.

Everyone else is somewhere around a dinner table, sitting in silence with their respective devices and seeing what’s going on with Becky and her latest #mcm. Maybe they’re even texting each other from across the table. So what? You don’t care. You’re embracing the moment, everyone else and their hashtags and statuses and tweets and vines and blog posts can exist without your valuable presence for a while.