Read This If You’re A Strong 20-Something Scared Of The ‘What Ifs’


All of us 20-somethings are adults now. We aren’t ‘sort of adults’, or just ‘kind of adults’, but we are the ‘real life we have to get our shit together’ type of adults. And I know it doesn’t feel like it. I know it seems like at times, we are all still fifteen. At least, for me it does. 

I still live at home. Every night, we have family dinner. I still sleep in my high school bed. It’s a single. I still cry to my mom about boys. I still have her take care of me when I’m sick. At times, I feel eighteen again.

At times, I feel six, like I’m a tiny girl scared of the big bad world.

But, I’m 23 now. My brain is fully developed (I think), my shoe size is a permanent size 7, and I have a degree. But, I have so many fears and ‘what if’s’ that still haunt the heck out of me. There are so many unknowns, that being an adult in this world at this age, is overwhelming. It’s intimidating.

When I was 6, my ‘what-ifs’, were harmless. They barely scraped the surface. They were, “What if I miss my bus after school, or what if the kids make fun of what I have for lunch today?”

At 23, my ‘what if’s’ have escalated to, “What if my dreams don’t come true, what if I never find love again, what if I never have enough money to live where I want, and what if I feel like this forever?”

The amount of ‘what ifs’ that we have as new adults, and post graduates, are endless and all consuming.

They are terrifying. And they are nasty to think about. But, we have to realize that we are stronger than these irrational fears that like to pop in our heads at any given time. We are stronger than what our anxiety whispers to us at night. We are bigger than them. We are smarter than these tiny voices.

We need to stop thinking about our ‘what if’s’ and change our mindset. We need to start actually believing that we can do things that we want to do. We need to start believing that, yes, we are actually great at something.

We need to start trusting in this. We need to start trusting in ourselves, most importantly.

We need to start thinking about our goals as being achievable instead of untouchable. We need to confidently stand tall, and be proud of who we are. You are strong. You are enough. We all are. And you will be surprised by how much you will be able to accomplish once you rid your mind of the negative thoughts that seep through the cracks. 

So, try to drown out the ‘what ifs’ and turn them into ‘whats next’. Instead of preparing for the worst, prepare for the place you want to be in your head. And go ahead and go for it. The only one stopping you, is yourself.