Real Heartbreak Can Actually Be Good For You
By Alexa Loebel
At one point or another, everyone experiences a love so pure and exciting that it can almost be overpowering. Being with someone who you consider to be your other half, your soul mate, and your best friend is something many people go their entire lives trying to find and once you find it, those first couple of months or years seem to be the best years of your life.
Unfortunately, not every relationship is perfect and not every person goes without fault. You are only human; you are imperfect in your own perfect way.
Maybe you did make a mistake and learned that he was 100% the one for you, but he was too hurt to stay with you. Maybe you realized it became too hard to distinguish your feelings as friends over your feelings within the relationship. Maybe you knew you had been growing apart, but it took breaking up to realize what is truly best for both of you.
When it all ends for good, the best thing to do is to take your time and let yourself sort through all of your emotions. If you’re sad, let yourself cry. If you’re angry, write it all down instead of keeping your thoughts bottled up in your head. The last thing you want is to be stuck in a depressed rut instead of using that time as an opportunity to explore what life has to offer and becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.
I’m not saying it won’t be hard, because it will be. There will be lots of tears and lots of pain, but I promise you it gets better. You’ll hear it from everyone, from family and friends to a stranger you meet at a bar, but it absolutely does get better.
Which is why you must allow yourself the time to cope with it in a healthy way, because when you have finally come to terms with what happened, you will feel so much stronger and so much happier in ways that at one point may have seemed imaginable.
Once you’ve taken the time to grieve and you wake up realizing that the dull ache in your stomach is finally gone, the next best thing to consider is to give him good closure, regardless of how it ended between you. Not because he deserves it from you and not because you want him to end up realizing he wants you back.
Give him good closure because being the bigger person and saying everything you need and want to say to allow yourself the closure that you need will help rid of all of the anger and bitterness you may feel towards him.
I can vouch from personal experience that this minor action is what allowed me to move on from the breakup as a happy, stronger, and more confident person. Allowing yourself to give and receive the closure that you need to be able to accept it and move on is one of the most important things when it comes to finding your own happiness again.
The next step may seem a little harsh, but it has been proven to help maintain happiness and the ability to keep moving forward after heartbreak. Delete him and block him on all social media. You’re only allowing yourself to feel hurt all over again by seeing his photos with a new girl. While you may want him to see that you’re trying to have a blast with other guys or just to make him jealous, that is not going to do any good for anyone.
Just because you broke up doesn’t mean you may never be friends in the way future, but in order to fully get over it and move on for yourself and your own future the best thing to do is to completely remove him and all things that remind you of him from your life.
Now, the previous steps may take some time to overcome, it can be different for everyone. But after you have accomplished each of those steps, you wake up one day not thinking about him anymore. You realize you no longer have the urge or desire to browse through his social media. You notice that you’re actually genuinely having fun and happy out with other people, whether you’re interested in them or not.
You may even realize that you love and admire this new and exciting version of yourself because you will! By allowing yourself time on your own terms to grieve, accept, give and receive closure, and completely move on from his life, you will become stronger in ways you would have never imagined possible.
Never regret the love you shared that led to your heartbreak, because that’s the love that helped you realize who you are, what you deserve, what you want, and what you need in your future. You’ll realize that you don’t want an “other half”, you want someone who makes you feel whole and complete in every way possible. You’ll realize that you do want a best friend, but also someone who will push you to be the very best version of yourself because that’s what you will give to them.
You’ll see that there are people out there who are willing to try the things you’ve always wanted to, and they’re willing to try them all with you. And finally, you’ll see that you are worth more than you ever believed, and that is where you will find complete and pure happiness.