If Walter White Was A Real Person He Would Be This Guy


So, one thing I’ve never understood about people who commit crimes as a consistent way to make money is they talk about things that get them caught. They can’t shut up. Sometimes it’s as basic as bragging about all the money they made off of breaking legs for the mob or letting slip that they’re a serial killer over drinks and sometimes…sometimes it’s their constant jokes about shooting students from the top of a bell tower with a high powered rifle on their Facebook page. Here’s the scoop:

Northwest Missouri State University professor being investigated for threatening a mass shooting will not be charged for it, as police cannot determine the seriousness of the threat.

However the communications professor, Matthew Rouch, now faces charges for producing and possessing marijuana, after his home pot lab was discovered during a weapons search, according to The Kansas City Star.

Yeah, that made a lot of people uncomfortable.

Well, okay, it appears that Professor Rouch has the hookup and, in typical quirky professor fashion, he made jokes about how he’d likely be shooting people by October, presumably because of the stress of upcoming finals but more likely because that’s when the big crop was going to need to be picked. I mean, that’s a lot of work for one guy, am I right, and it doesn’t look like Mr. Rouch has a Jesse Pinkman waiting in the wings to take over the operation until he gets home from work. Then again, Walter White never threatened to go postal on social media. That sort of thing tends to drive potential partners away (take note, business students).

The best part? Mr. Rouch is a Communications Professor. My advice? Review the chapters about “controlling your message” and next time your “elaborate growing operation” won’t be discovered before Fall Break.

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