Real Question: Did Anyone *Actually* Enjoy 2016?

This is a genuine inquiry.

Did anyone like 2016? Between the shit show of a Presidential election, a seemingly endless bout of legends dying, and heartbreaking tragedies all over the world, 2016 felt like some evil force was sitting back and laughing at us crying and squirming.

So, I’m wondering, who enjoyed this year?

Did you fall in love? Did you get an amazing promotion? Do you live in the woods with little connection to the outside world and have no idea how terrible things have been?

Can you, like, tell me about it? Transfer some of that happiness my way. Let me live vicariously through you.

Tell me you bought your dream house, or finally kicked that bad habit you’ve been meaning to work on. Tell me you reconciled with an ex and you’re better than ever before. Tell me you’ve been secretly curing cancer and giving people a new chance at life. Tell me something.

Honestly, tell me you bought a surprisingly inexpensive dress that makes your boobs look amazing and whenever you wear it, you feel like a sexy angel, or Rihanna, whatever.

Just tell me something.

I want a bit of hope. A morsel. The tiniest bite I can tuck away for later when the hunger pains act up again.

Because right now, it’s too consuming. Right now, 2016 feels like the end of the world and I have no evidence it’s not.