She Asked Me What I’m Most Afraid Of, My Answer Was You

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She asks me
What are you most afraid of?

I am afraid of wanting
I have always been taught to keep my fingers interlocked and hidden in my lap
never to reach out and show desire
for nothing is mine to keep
but always to give

I am afraid of loving
The word attachment is synonymous with abandonment
For every pull there is a push
For every beginning
an ending
For every person I love
there is another I must lose

I am afraid of feelings
The risk of being hurt is too great
I am too worn and weary
to stand again if I fall once more
So instead
I pray that the person I love will be happy
close my eyes
and walk away

But most of all, I am most afraid of you.
You are a combination of all three.

But I tell her
what I am most afraid of is
spiders
and the dark

She says
I am scared of them too.