She Was So Happy When Her Baby Boy Was Born… But Then He Wouldn’t Stop Eating
By Sean Seebach
Denise nodded her head, wiping tears from her face. “Yes it is,” she said. “He’s been gone for a long, long time. I know that’s my baby boy, I just know it!”
“Follow us,” said Lobster Boy, waving his clawed hand towards Bobby’s trailer.
Inside, Buddy was standing on a ladder, teasing Bobby with a quart of milk.
“If you want to drink this kid, you better put on a hell of a show tonight,” Buddy said with his smoky voice. “Daddy needs to get paid.”
Strong Man kicked the trailer door down. Buddy fell from the ladder, sending a mixture of glass and milk with him.
“It’s over Buddy,” said Strong Man. “This is the baby’s mother.”
“Yeah,” said Lobster Boy. “And she’s here to take him back!”
“Have you forgotten who pays you?” Buddy said, dusting himself off. “You work for me. It’s not the other way around. Now get that woman outta here. Look at her, she’s leaking all over the damn floor!”
Denise locked eyes with Bobby. He began shaking the wooden bars of the play pen, a constructed prison cell, and kicked his flabby feet into a full-on tantrum. The sides began to bust, unable to contain his massive strength.
Buddy approached Lobster Boy. He hated having his ego challenged.
“Who saved you from that hell you used to call home?” Buddy said. “Huh? That place where you were criticized for just being different?”
Buddy flicked his stogie to the ground. It rolled towards Bobby’s pen, igniting it on fire. Smoke filled the trailer.
“It was ME!” Buddy said. “It was me who saved you, and you, and him!” He pointed at his attractions with disgust. “When nobody else wanted you, it was me who took you in. Have you forgotten that?”
During Buddy’s sad proclamation, Bobby managed to weaken the construct. He broke several bars in half with his chubby hands, then kicked down the rest.