Should We Stop Believing In Soul Mates?


I started taking a real interest in the ladies when I was in 3rd grade. Whoever I happened to develop an interest in, that girl was like no other. I was the most romantic 9 year-old you never met. I learned some back massage techniques when I was 10 because I saw movies where older women saw this as a romantic gesture. But I’d rather not condemn myself by discussing how I tried to seduce women with back massages in 5th grade so I’ll end that there.

Regardless, the lucky lady of whatever two-year period I was locked onto her for was the only one for me. I had just made a mistake thinking the previous one was destined for me—I had made a mistake. The idea of a soul mate had me captivated.

It wasn’t until I got older and into subsequently harder math classes that I learned probability wasn’t on my side. On a planet with so many people, how was I supposed to meet the one person meant for me? What if my soul mate wasn’t even in the US? I was 14 and barely had any frequent flyer miles.

Through high school and college, you get a slightly bigger picture as to just how much variety is on the menu, and around my latter college years, I came to the realization that I had no soul mate. There was nobody meant for me, there were just girls that might mutually like me as much as I liked them. I could choose to marry one of them and live a life with them, or I could not.

I cringe when people mention “the one” whilst on the dating scene. There’s really no right or wrong way to do it, but limiting yourself by thinking you know exactly what you want may be a big mistake. There are no soul mates, just people you’re very attached to or having a hard time getting over because you matched them on multiple fronts. I strongly believed in the first girl I had a crush on in 3rd grade was my soul mate. I believe she is now a lesbian.

The people who insist there’s someone out there just for them are wrong. You’d be more correct if you said the kind of person you’re looking for is one in a million, because on a planet of seven billion people, there are about 1,000 who would be a great match for you. There’s likely more than that. Find one, marry them (or don’t marry them, that’s all you), and treat them right. The other 999 with find the 999 that are similar to you. I like my chances.

This is all conjecture, of course. What if there actually was a soul mate out there for everyone? How would it work? Not only does location play a role, but what if your soul mate is someone 20 years older whose physical appearance is nothing you would give a second thought to? The odds of finding this person in the world is hard enough looking at just the numbers, but that’s not taking into account the individuality of each person and the boundaries some would need to get over to meet their potential match in the first place. The whole thing seems too complicated.

Looking by the numbers, the odds of one finding their soul mate are ugly. If uphill battles seem appealing, go ahead and keep searching. However, in perhaps a bit more of an optimistic spirit, I’d like to think I’ll eventually find a good match, even if it’s not perfect. Give me one of the 1,000 instead.