Some People You Might Meet In A DUI Class


  • The lesbian instructor who can be counted on to make a reference to her own alcoholism at least once every two and a half minutes. She’s been to hell and back, y’all.
  • The woman who got arrested at 2:30 p.m. on a weekday after winning a bunch of money on Cash Cab, then ended up spending all of it on lawyer fees.
  • The Canadian gentleman who doesn’t say much and mostly looks confused. He asks questions that nobody can answer about whether or not they’ll let him back up north.
  • The guy who adds you on Facebook and you have to be all “Sorry, I’m not here to make friends.”
  • James Franco’s hot little brother.
  • That girl who works at your local raw food shop and makes your favorite hemp milk protein smoothie. Awkward!
  • The hardened alcoholic who has clearly seen this rodeo before.
  • The guy who has seen every episode of Intervention and ruins the ending when you watch in class. It’s like… come on, guy. Let me believe that Alfredo will pull it together for his kids.
  • The douche. He’s that guy who wouldn’t shut up in his college classes, but now instead of waxing poetic about Zionism, he’s ranting about getting wasted.
  • That girl who was like, totally on that show. You know her face. What was it? She’s cute.
  • A fellow snacking enthusiast. It all starts when he offers you a fig newton and you get all “I love fig newtons! I haven’t had one in forever.” Then he gets excited to try your homemade trail mix. You become friends IRL. Snacks bring people together.
  • White people complaining about cops. Non-white people rolling their eyes at them.
  • Normal, nice people who made a mistake. Getting in trouble with the law is scary for a nice boy from a nice family when he’s 3,000 miles from home. It can be kind of great to talk to people who are going through the same thing.

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image – banspy