Sometimes You Have To Prioritize Yourself In Relationships


There is nothing more painful than love illusions and nothing more joyful than when you love someone who loves you back. I believe that we’re meant to live in a couple as this helps us to grow and evolve faster than anything. Yet there are many love illusions which bring in drama and vexation.

How is it possible than some relationships are joyful while others seem to be more unrequited love?

I’d like to talk about special relationships which is something that most of the people experience at some point or another.

What is a special relationship? What makes that love special?

A special relationship is full of love illusions. It brings to the surface your own fears and wounds. You put the other person on a pedestal and make them special in your head. It feels like there is no one more important than them – everything they do is amazing and exceptional.

After meeting your special partner, you may feel like he or she completes you. Like prior to meeting them you were missing something and now it’s there. You think that no one else really understand what you’re experiencing so you hold for yourself. As a valuable secret that makes you both fly high and fall so deep down.

Others, including yourself, aren’t as important as your special partner for you. This kind of relationship can be either one way or the other person feels the same about you. Yet there is something inexplicable in the air which makes it either impossible for you two to be together or it makes it very painful.

Not every relationship is special. I’m not referring to “normal” relationships here. If you’ve experienced the special love then you know exactly what I mean. It makes you feel so deep that you’re surprised about the depth of your own feelings. It makes you feel alive and extremely scared at the same time. I feel like you’ve found your “home” yet it seems unreachable.

Why do special relationships fail?

Surprisingly, in special relationships the ego (fear based mind) pretends to be an angel. Let me explain. The greatest trick which ego uses is to appear like selfless. The other person is more important than yourself. You might think that this is almost a saint way of thinking yet it’s just the ego which tries to look as saint.

Anything that we make special will be taken away from us. Why? At the soul level, we’re all equal. That’s the fact. When you lower yourself, and put the other person on a pedestal, you live against this universal truth.

The life forces need to balance this thought by taken the object of your specialness away so you’ll see that you can live without it and your happiness isn’t depending on it.

Your special love invites you to heal.

Somehow, this very special person, mirrors back all of your inner demons. All at the same time. Depending on your past experiences the pain that reveals can be almost unbearable. Therefore many people shut themselves down and rather run away from such a partner.

They feel as the other person can read them completely. They may even feel like the other person knows them better than they know themselves. For many of us this can be scary and it’s easier to give up.

This kind of relationships invites you to heal your past in a very profound and big way. The healing can take years and mostly does. It cracks open your heart and you know that eventually you’ll have to face everything what is there.

If you invite this experience as a holy assignment to heal, it’ll purify you and clean all those fear layers that you had been carrying. The very best thing you can do if this happens to you to open yourself completely. Don’t be afraid because only he who doesn’t need to protect himself is invulnerable.

There are no random encounters.

No one is sent to you by an accident. Your special partner is here to teach you something so dig deep and listen to what it is. Don’t make it about them because if the source of your happiness is another person then you’re in big troubles.

Instead, make this about you – use this encounter as an invitation to heal and do some decent inner work. Flip the coin and put them out of the equation for as long as you need to heal. This will help you to stay focused and stop worrying about your common future.

Sometimes there isn’t meant to be any future. Sometimes, you’re just meant to meet someone who will open your heart so you begin to heal. Don’t waste time thinking about which one of these options it is and instead use this divine moment as an invitation from your soul to heal. Trust the process and know that you’re always right there where you need to be.