Sometimes You Just Have To Hold Your Deepest Feelings Close To Your Heart
By Rania Naim
Sometimes you just have to pretend like everything’s ok. Everything’s fine. Nothing is breaking you. Nothing is hurting you. Nothing is disturbing your peace. Sometimes you just have to pretend like you’re unbreakable because once they know what hurts you, they’ll know how to break your heart.
Sometimes you just have to say that you weren’t crying the night before. That you’re just tired or drained or exhausted from work. Sometimes you just can’t tell them that their words have such a strong effect on you. Sometimes you just have to smile and say that they can’t hurt you. That you don’t shed tears because of them. You have to lie because once they know the reason behind your tears, they’ll know how to make you cry.
Sometimes you just have to pretend you’re brave. That you’re not scared of how much you love them. That you’re not afraid they might leave. That you’re not afraid of losing them. Sometimes you just have to lie and say that you’re not going to be lonely without them. That you’ll always be fine. You’ll always be okay because once they know what you fear, they’ll know how to scare you.
Sometimes you can’t share your deepest feelings with everyone because that’s what makes them intentionally hurt you. That’s how they manipulate you. Sometimes you just have to fake it till you make it because you can’t trust everyone. You can’t give them all your keys. You can’t unlock all your secrets because once they know what you hide, they’ll know how to open your doors and come in uninvited. They’ll know how to invade your personal space and they’ll know how to occupy your thoughts. Don’t give them that power because once they know your weaknesses, they’ll try to take away your strength.
Sometimes your feelings are fragile and susceptible to change. Sometimes you just have to do what’s best for you even if you can’t hold it in any longer. Sometimes you just have to suffer alone temporarily so you can find your peace away from those trying to disturb you.
Because once they know what makes you sad, they’ll always ruin your joy. They’ll ruin your most wonderful moments. They’ll know how to make you feel like you’re not good enough no matter what you’re doing. They’ll know how to make you feel like you don’t matter.
Sometimes you just have to protect yourself from others and their intentions or their motives. You have to be your own lifesaver. Be a little bit selfish with yourself. Don’t give yourself to anyone. Don’t share who you are with everyone. Give bits and pieces until you know for sure that someone deserves every little part of you.