Songs I Hear All The Time At My Part-Time Candy Store Job + Their Candy Equivalents

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“Laredo” by Band of Horses + Cookies ‘n Cream fro-yo
Used to like it but I think they changed the recipe.

“Rehab” by Amy Winehouse + Amaretto Milk Chocolate Pecans
Hint of booze, dusted in white powder, less rich than they should be.

Any song by Ben Folds + Gummi Freedom Rings
Hey there, 2002.

“Dog Days are Over” by Florence & the Machine + Mango Gummi Bears
Wish the other 12 flavors were this good.

“Bubbly” by Colbie Callait + BBQ Pecans

Make me think about farting.

“King of Everything” by Sarah Bareilles + Chocolate-dipped Potato Chips

Don’t feel like they should be this good, but really, why not?

“Tripping Billies” by Dave Matthews Band + Neon Sour Gummi Worms

High-school remnant I kinda still love now, in limited amounts. Or huge amounts, depending.

“With a Little Help From my Friends” by Joe Cocker + Homemade Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

Possibly even better than the real thing?

“Summer Day” by Sheryl Crow + Chocolate Dipped Peanut Butter Ritz Sandwich

Slathered in chocolate but it’s still just a cracker.

“Radioactive” by Kings of Leon + Lemon Drops

Physically pain me, but the kids sure do love ’em.

“If it’s Love” by Train + Black Licorice Ropes
Pure evil. Just?no. Who is the person that likes this? Why is this still happening?

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