Stop Apologizing


Whether it be for an accidental mess-up or an opinion escaping via sudden outburst, society has become obsessed with the need to apologize. Believe it or not, you don’t need to boisterously and hurriedly declare how sorry you are for such minor actions as dropping something (no matter how loud a noise it makes) or a slip-up of speech. Really, how much of the other person’s valuable time did you take up by accidentally committing these terrible acts? If your answer is none, you’re absolutely correct. There are so many other things you can be worrying about (or not worrying about) besides the fact that you tripped or accidentally brushed arms with someone in the supermarket. You should stop apologizing for these trivial normalcies because it diminishes your self-worth when it has no right to.

Stop inserting “I’m sorry, but…” before stating your opinions and beliefs. Your opinions are completely your own, and if they offend another person, that’s no problem of yours whatsoever. No personal view warrants an apology, even if it conflicts with another person’s. Likewise, you are not entitled to an apology simply because someone disagrees with you. Stop apologizing for your beliefs because it conveys that you feel insecure about expressing yourself, while the truth is, your opinion matters. Your views are valuable. And of all people, you especially should value them.

Don’t apologize for things that are out of your control. Whether it be physical appearances, health problems or disorders, or unfortunate circumstances in life, if you have no control over them, why is it your responsibility to apologize for them? If someone does not accept you because of, let’s say, a physical flaw, how valuable is a relationship with them? You are not indebted to anyone based on a circumstance you can’t change. Chances are, these unchangeable flaws were not brought to the attention of anyone until you felt the need to apologize for them.

However, there are certain things that actually are in your control that you should stop apologizing for as well. Your interests, talents, hobbies and aspirations are entirely your own, just like your views. They do not affect or offend other people, and even if you think they do, it’s unnecessary to apologize for them or feel obligated to justify them. Never feel as if you have to justify something you love, whether it be having a multitude of cats, an impressive collection of Cher records, or knowing everything there is to know about Star Trek. As the saying goes, you do you.

Finally, never apologize for explaining your feelings to someone when they have hurt you, or for the sake of saving a relationship or friendship when you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. Don’t take this the wrong way, if you have wronged someone or hurt them, by all means, apologize to save the relationship, and because it’s the right thing to do. But if someone has continuously hurt you and you find yourself in the position of being the only one to apologize, break that toxic pattern. Why expend so much energy for someone who isn’t willing to put forth any effort in return? Why lower yourself and sacrifice your pride for someone who does not deserve it?

You should stop apologizing for things you don’t need to because you are not being a burden by being yourself and loving what you love.