12 Types Of Flaky You Become When You’re A Young Professional
By Lance Pauker
For burgeoning young professionals, growing responsibilities and an increasing desire to unwind by cooking semi-palatable chicken francese leads to more and more cancelled plans. Here are some versions of flaky you might embrace once you hit that working world stride:
1. The Let’s Catch Up Soon
“I have no desire to spend $30 at a group dinner that’s mostly your friends, but I’m definitely not ready to emotionally abandon this friendship just yet. So let’s catch up soon!”
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2. The I’ll Let You Know
“I’m certainly interested in going camping in upstate New York, but I have to check with my pet fish and make sure it’s ok with him, so I’ll let you know.”
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3. The Co-Worker Semi Dupe
“I’d love to get drinks with you guys and converse after a long day of not talking to each other for 9 hours straight. Unfortunately, I have a vaguely explained personal thing that I definitely can’t miss, and definitely can’t elaborate upon any further.”
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4. The Facebook Event Attend Non-Attend
“I know you need this pretty badly, so let’s just say I’m attending in theory.”
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5. The Throw Out Some Dates That Work
“If this friendship is a sinking ship, I want the onus to be on you. So throw out some dates that work, and I’ll be here, smugly waiting for you to do all the legwork.”
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6. The Radio Text Silence
“Please, just let me have this one.”
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7. The I’m Not Ready For Anything Serious
“My ego is greater than my attraction to you, so you probably just dodged a considerable and usually hungover bullet.”
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8. The I’ve Got Errands To Run
“I’d love to meet up and play pinball on Super Nintendo in your parent’s basement with unlimited Capri Sun, but I don’t know how else to tell you that you’ll be 27 in October.”
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9. The I’m Out Of Town That Week
“What you’re suggesting is way out of my price range, so instead of telling you the truth I’d much prefer spending that weekend committed to this lie.”
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10. The I’m On My Way
“I know I’m in the wrong here, so this is me letting you know that I’m at least making it look like I tried!”
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11. The Who Else Is Going
“I don’t entirely trust you as a person, and judging by the crucial details that you oh-so conveniently skated around, I have every reason not to.”
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12. The Let Me Check My Schedule
“That sounds cool, let me check my schedule. I’d like to come, but there’s a chance that I won’t make it — I think that’s the night I’ll be too busy vigorously giving you the middle finger.”