The 5 Ways You Could Possibly React To The #ALSIceBucketChallenge


1. Reasonably

This silly challenge makes you smile for two reasons: firstly because your aunt and her technologically-estranged generation finally feel like they’re a part of social media, her clasped hands and giddy, face-scrunching anticipation warmed your heart. Secondly, it’s raised awareness and $100 million to further research and support for a debilitating disease. 

You’re going to do the Ice Bucket Challenge, and you’ll probably make a donation, too. 

2. Pompously

This challenge is yet another stupid viral ‘phenomenon’ that pisses you off, especially because Steve nominated you after you thoroughly expressed your discontent at lunch. Jesus, how desperate are people that they take what started as a charity and degrade it to the merit of ‘planking’? People have completely missed the point. You’re gonna record a video of yourself donating $100 and upload it to Facebook to remind people of what they’ve obviously forgotten. It just frustrates you that people even need to be reminded. 

3. Environmentally

Do people even realize that global warming is causing erratic weather patterns, which are part of the reason California — half of which is an irresponsibly populated desert — is experiencing a massive drought? Everyone’s pouring water on their heads and then ‘paying it forward’ so they can multiply their mistake. This one’s really getting to you, and it’s not because no one nominated you, you wouldn’t have done it anyways. China’s rampant pollution and the BP oil spill got you hot and bothered, but this, this blatant disregard for what’s the equivalent of flushing the toilet is the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

4. Attention-Whore-Like

This is your chance to really make a splash on people’s news feeds. It might be your most ‘liked’ post of summer, and that’s a bold statement considering your 4th of July album was such a hit. You’ve been studying people’s Ice Bucket Challenge videos for a couple weeks and you’re noticing the trends: people with creative videos are getting likes, but people donating money are also getting likes…wait…that’s it! You’ll thank the person who nominated you, quick shout out to ALS, proof of donation, and maybe do it in a swimsuit? If you post it Thursday evening, you could ride the Facebook traffic all the way till Sunday. 

5. Confusedly

You don’t hate the challenge, but you do think it’s being done the wrong way. Why are people doing something that inherently involves screaming? People should be holding a poster board with words that explain what they’re doing, or at least respect the cause by actually using sign language.  

featured image – Anthony Quintano