The 9 Most Important Things You Learn In Recovery

1. Accept other people’s help.

The “it’s my problem, so I’ll fix it myself” mentality won’t get you anywhere except crushed under the weight of a burden too heavy for any one person’s shoulders, no matter how good your intentions are. When someone offers to help, believe that they genuinely want to make your life easier. Appreciate it. Accept it. And the next time they’re struggling, you can help them in return.

2. Do not let your problem become how you define yourself.

While it’s important to be able to admit that something is wrong, it should not be the first that comes to mind when someone asks who you are. You are so much more than “the Bulimic” or “the Manic Depressive;” you are every dream you’ve ever had and every feat you’ll ever accomplish, every bridge you’ve ever burnt and every door you’ll ever open, a hundred sunsets and a thousand sunrises.

3. If you’re having a bad day, the first thing you should do is a random act of kindness for a stranger.

It’s easy to lose yourself in a spiral of negative thoughts, but making someone else smile is the best way to put things into perspective.

4. Learn to apologize.

There is no shame in it and others will respect you for being able to admit that you are in the wrong. That feeling of guilt being lifted off your chest feels exponentially better than the fear of confrontation.

5. You can’t love someone else until you love yourself first.

There is a good reason that this is a the cliché of clichés and anyone who has come to truly understand this will tell you that it is irrefutably accurate.

6. There will come a day when it hits you that there is no reason to have to conform to society’s stigmas about weight, nutrition, sexuality, mental illnesses, or what makes a life valuable.

In the span of one footstep, years of pressure and expectations will disappear, everything important to you will be brought into light, and you will consider your happiness before anything else. This is one of the best days of your life. Celebrate it.

7. Just like every good day has its bad moments, every bad day has its good moments.

Recognize them and hold on tight; but when all else fails, sometimes you need to go to bed at five pm and that is ok. Tomorrow will be kinder.

8. Nothing—and I mean nothing—in life can be represented with a linear equation.

Relapse cannot be quantitatively counted in days behavior-free. Maturity, sexuality, happiness, enlightenment, love, knowledge, and wisdom are all just big balls of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff. Things will get better, they will get worse, and then they’ll get better again. One slip does not equal starting over from zero.

9. Remember the past, where you’ve come from and where you don’t want to return.

Keep the future in mind, what you want to achieve. But make sure you’re focusing on The Now. Take life one day, one hour at a time. Don’t spend so much time worrying about where you need to be tomorrow that you forget to start moving today.