The Art Of Communication


“I’ll call you,” he said, bending down for a kiss as we left the café.

Of course, he never did. He very briefly replied to a text message I sent, and then went completely MIA.

So yes, I was a victim of the classic “I’ll call you.”

The red flag presented itself as soon as he uttered the words, though I held on to my faith. I’m a generally trusting person and the “I’ve been dreaming about you for three months”, “I really like you” and “This is my first date in four years” really had me thinking that maybe the boy was on to something. Add to this the fact that we had been friends for a while prior to dating, and I really thought that he was actually going to try.

Alas, it was not the case. Once again, things went wrong and I’m not entirely sure why.

My mum suggested that maybe I was a little strong, but hey, he was the one who sat me down for a life discussion about where the relationship would take us, started asking what my parents thought of him, and announced to all our friends that we were dating (this was after one kiss, I might add).

So, you can imagine that I was a little confused as to why he rushed in all guns blazing and then flipped 180˚ and did a runner.

Like my Columbian “boyfriend” who told me that he loved me, then avoided me for a week and asked me to meet him at his house so that he could dump me. Or the cute English boy I was dating who was absent for social media, was opposed to texting and never called me, but called us quits because we never spoke (I wonder why mate).

And no, I am not attempting to blast all men of the world.

But anyone (whatever your gender) who is a) dating, b) in a relationship, or c) interested in either of the previous, listen up. For the love of God, just communicate.

In the case of my current man – hey honey, this may be news, but guess what? If we have been on only one date, I don’t actually care if you turn around and say that this relationship is not for you. We ain’t even in the relationship stage yet. Just tell me. Don’t leave me hanging for a week thinking that maybe you are just busy.

You are working two jobs and are really busy? Congratulations! I’m working four jobs and have three and a half hours of travel time each weekday. Surprisingly, I still manage to set aside the ten seconds that it takes to text you.

I don’t actually care if you don’t like me, or if you have changed your mind. Just tell me so that I can get on with other things and other people.

So, daters of the world, please. Let’s utilise our precious human capacity to actually communicate with each other, and maybe we will all be a little more content for it.