The Classic Psycho Stalker

Don’t get ahead of yourselves, this isn’t about serial killers (although sometimes these biddies may as well be one). This is about the token psycho that we all know and if you don’t know her then it’s definitely you. This is the person who meets a guy, hooks up with this guy ONCE and then is absolutely obsessed, like stage five clinger obsessed. It is to the point where she truly believe that you two are getting married even though that guy definitely bailed by 6 am the next morning.

So I would like some male and female feedback on why this happens. I feel like guys get the hint pretty fast when a girl isn’t into it. If you don’t respond to a guys texts or invites two or three times in a row, they get it. They stop and move on.  Guys are pretty black and white. If they don’t want you, they literally will not speak to you. If they want you for an hour they will say something vague at 2 am like, “Hey, what are you doing?” and then pretend to be surprised when you say nothing and that you two should totally meet up and “chill.” If a guy wants to date you, he will 100% make the effort to date you. Have we learned nothing from that movie He’s Just Not That Into You because that is the message, clear as day.

Girls, on the other hand, they like to make five million excuses as to why this guy isn’t talking to them. Now it may be that he really is just playing hard to get but most of the time if he is giving you one word answers or not responding, he straight up just could care less and is simultaneously talking to at least four other people all conveniently named, “babe.” Strategic. If a guy ignores me or isn’t into me, I usually just pretend he has died in some tragic way and that is the only obvious reason for not responding to me, but at least I acknowledge that I’m in denial, thus not really in denial.

If a guy is not into the psycho-stalker, which he probably is not, she will tell herself that he is just so busy with school work, pledging a fraternity, on the phone with his mom and will probably call her really soon!  This will be followed by her un-friending him on Facebook and then sending him six separate texts about how she unfriended him and just to make sure he knows how much she really does not care…..K.  This girl will do this even when the guy has not talked to her for four months since their last “encounter,” to which he was probably bored. She will then straight up LOSE HER SHIT if she finds out he has a girlfriend. She actually will be shocked that he has a girlfriend that is not here and I feel bad for this chick. If you were to look up tragedy on Google, this girl would be front row and center. She will then harass the new girlfriend by following her on every social media platform possible, and continuously not shut up about it.

Home girl, get a grip. Please, fix yourself. Your friends can only enable your denial for so long before they all actually start to get scared, too. When a person behaves like this, I always imagine guys view them like a subpar community college anyone can get in. The girls they want to date are viewed like Harvard or Yale, they are viewed as a challenge and worth the fight. I don’t understand how a women would prefer to waste her time on something that is so clearly not going to happen. There are probably a million other opportunities for other things to happen if you could just check out of your warped perception of life and check back into reality and possibly a well established psych ward.