The Contractual Pros And Cons To Falling In Love


Section A: Appropriate Public Displays of affection

1. Hand holding

Pro: Your ineffectual fist will fit easily in his, as his hands are substantially larger. His mugs radiate heat as if they had a handle and were filled with chai tea. He will squeeze your hand just a smidgen tighter when walking past a questionable individual. You will inevitably feel safe.

Con: You will be rendered incapable of locating a worthwhile resting point for your hands while walking in his absence. You will fight the urge to grab a random stranger’s hand, if only to feel some phalanx warmth. You will feel a smidgen more vulnerable when walking past a questionable individual. You will miss him. 

2. Leaning Against His Arm/Chest

Pro: As you lean into him he turns his body towards yours and you are able to sink into complete acceptance. You feel wanted by him and the stability of his figure against yours. He will pull you closer, letting solicitous strangers know you are his, while simultaneously making you feel small and fragile. You will inevitably feel safe. 

Con: His absence will become palpable. Loneliness will begin to set in as you walk solo past the landmarks that had previously greeted a duo. Your attire will require layers as you get colder, easier. You will miss him. 

3. Rubbing His Back and/or Putting Hand Across Stomach


Pro: Your appendage’s journey will lead your mind to the previous evening, when there wasn’t a shirt between your fingertips and his skin. You outline the masculinity of his body, boastfully highlighting the pride you feel when standing next to his frame. Feeling the contours of his hardened back through silently scorned material, you are reminded of his power and strength. You will inevitably feel safe. 

Con: Your fingertips feel abandoned as their carpet has been swept out from underneath them. You notice you’ve been crossing your arms and rubbing them as if it was the middle of December. Walking dangerously close to a stranger may or may not end in unwanted, extremely inappropriate, petting. You will miss him. 

4. Polite Kisses.


Pro: Waiting to find one another void of an audience becomes an obsolete necessity. Leaning in to softly solidify a greater passion requires your hand pressing upon his chest. A requirement that will make you feel whimsical. You will hold your lips to his for only a mere moment but the taste will linger. You will know that he is proud to be with you. You will inevitably feel safe. 

Con: Your favorite pastime is stolen by distance. You find yourself pressing your mouth closed so your lips are not lonely. Moments in which a quick kiss would be warranted happen more and more frequently. With every lost opportunity your heart heavies. You will miss him. 

Section B: Joining of the things.


1. He Uses Your Closet

Pro: His clothes grasp the cologne he previously adorned, subsequently filling your closet with his intoxicating scent. In a rush you can quickly slide into a pair of his boxer briefs. Or t-shirt. Or wife-beater. And feel closer to him even when on opposite ends of the room. You will see carelessly distributed pieces of his demeanor, all as comforting as his arms. You will inevitably feel safe. 

Con: The clear wooden floorboards scream locational awareness and you are reminded of his current proximity. You can almost envision the offhandedly thrown jeans or the bundled up t-shirt or the lone sock, only to have it vanish as if you were in the Sahara. Every moment that passes diminishes his lasting scent. You will miss him. 

2. Sharing a Bathroom

Pro: You will wake to the sound of him taking a shower. It will be as comforting as the rain. As the door opens steam and the scent of his body wash escape as he carelessly covering himself with a towel. You will admire his physique while lazily laying in bed, glad to wait your turn. You will find comfort in seeing his toothbrush. You will inevitably feel safe. 

Con: You will begin to resent the previously adored vanilla bean scent of your shampoo as it demolishes the smell of his early morning shower. You can no longer lazily lay in bed while he gets ready for the day as there’s no need to take turns with a ghost. No longer can you kiss him while wrapped in a towel as if it was as pertinent to your shower as turning on the water. You will miss him. 

3. Falling Asleep Together

Pro: Laying next to a human furnace will make your blankets electric. Falling asleep will be as easy as when you were strapped into a carseat and chauffeured around the block. You will feel small with his arms wrapped around you. He will play with your hair, exploring the texture of each strand between pinched fingertips. He will kiss you goodnight on your collar bone or the back of your neck or your shoulders. You will sink into his chest. You will inevitably feel safe. 

Con: Tossing and turning is a foregone conclusion. You will feel lost amidst the seemingly endless amount of blankets and sheets. You will cocoon yourself within your comforter in an attempt to duplicate the weight of his arms with every additional, twisted layer. You are only disappointed. You will miss him. 

Section C: Day to Day Entanglement


1. Conversations


Pro: You feed off his energy and enchanting mannerisms. Tunnel vision occurs and you are suddenly equipped with the magical capability of making populations disappear. You will see his attentiveness manifested in physical form. You feel like your words are loaded with importance as he leans into his heedfulness. You will inevitably feel safe. 

Con: The cellular medium becomes a burden. You will strain to imagine him in front of you or his facial expressions or his inquiring shoulders. Their absence leads you to assume different words mean different things.Your conversations will end with a click of a button, not a hug or a kiss or the swift agility of unconsciousness. You will inevitably miss him. 

2. Inside Jokes

Pro: Seeing his smile only enlarges yours. His laugh is contagious and you hope you catch it. You will find one another’s eyes from across the room when someone alludes to a previous moment in time. You will speak words to him without ever opening your mouth. Your aesthetically disparate eyes will flirt with one another amidst the simultaneous chatter of others. You will inevitably feel safe. 

Con: Your chuckles will have no way of escaping your discouraged lips. You will hold back the urge to point out what would have normally been a shared discovery. A bombardment of moments in which you two would have conversed silently leaves painful twinges of longing. You will miss him. 

Fine Print: All positives outlined in the former sections are cohesive to the negatives. One may not, under any circumstanc, be experienced separate of the other. Any side effects, such as but not limited to: sleeplessness, sadness, diminished patience, inability to concentrate, constant sense of want, and/or debilitating fear are assumed by the reader and not up for negotiation. 

Should consequences become overwhelming or side effects everlasting, please consult your nearest travel bartender and go take a shot of Jack Daniels. 

You’ve fallen.

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image – Merra