The Definitive Ranking Of Pizza Crust
By Koty Neelis
It’s national pizza day. This ranking goes out to pizza lovers everywhere.
Hey guys, do you love pizza? Hey, me too! I obviously have a very important job so I spent an afternoon asking a group of about 30 people on where they stand with pizza crusts and which crusts rank the highest. Here’s what we decided. Battle it out in the comments if YOU DARE!
9. Little Caesar’s
Little Caesar’s is what you eat when you’ve completely given up on life, your looks, your health, your standards of pizza. Their crust is an artificial imitator and a cruel fucking joke. Little Caesar’s should be ashamed to even call themselves pizza at all.
8. NY-style Pizza
The NY vs. Chicago pizza debate is essentially the East Coast Vs. West Coast battle of the 90s but with pizza. I’m almost always a NY style kind of girl but when it comes to crust, the dough don’t lie. I need a little extra cushion.
7. Totino’s Party Pizza
You might be surprised to find such a lame ass pizza like Totino’s even make the cut considering their thin crust is a joke but as we all know, Totino’s Party Pizza is not the kind of pizza you go for when you want quality. It’s the kind of pizza you go for when you’re drunk as fuck and needing something greasy to ease the inevitable hangover. This pizza is ranked a 7 simply for being called a party pizza. We all know pizza parties are the best parties. And I was born to pizza party.
6. Domino’s
Everyone interviewed agreed Domino’s crust was p good but no one could really explain why. If you have a stake in the Domino’s crust game please tell me in the comments why Domino’s is where it’s at.
5. DiGiorno Original Rising Crust
Obviously the James Deen of frozen pizza.
4. Chicago-style Pizza
The crust is a meal in itself really.
3. Hungry Howie’s
So many flavored crusts, so little time. I’m personally a fan of sesame seed and/or butter garlic. Others with the need for a little flare with their crust voted for cajun style. S/O to the people who don’t have Hungry Howie’s in their region. One day you will discover the deliciousness of HH’s flavored crust.
2. Papa John’s
THEIR CRUST IS BASICALLY BUILT IN BREADSTICKS. What else do you heathens need!?! I’d also like to point out though that while I approve of Papa John’s crust, you can’t really eat it unless you have that garlic sauce dip to accompany it for a true and delightful crust-eating experience.
1. Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust
Pizza Hut is essentially the James Franco of the pizza world because they will truly try anything once. Their original stuffed crust is the reigning champion of pizza crusts and all other pizza crusts are inferior to their savory, buttery, stuffed cheesy style. Shoutouts to Pizza Hut’s pretzel crust, hot dog crust, and hamburger crust – so awesomely odd you have to try (then die a little on the inside).