The Drunken Mistake You’ll Make This Halloween, Based On Your Zodiac Sign


Aries: March 21st – April 19th

Halloween is your favorite holiday, so you’re going to get way too carried away. You’ll end up buying drinks for all of your friends, plus a few strangers you met five minutes earlier. By the end of the night, your costume will be crusted with vomit and your wallet will be completely empty.

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

You’re stubborn, so when you drag your friends to a lame club or party, you won’t let them leave. Instead of finding a better place to celebrate, you’ll stick to the location you originally chose. Everyone will end up having a horrible time, but hey, at least you’ll be too drunk to remember all the nasty names your friends called you.

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

You’re going to get wasted off Halloween-themed shots and then have the bright idea to terrify someone. But, with your luck, you’ll end up picking the wrong person. You’ll either end up getting knocked out by a big dude or causing some little kid to cry.

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

You’re going to pregame at your house–and never end up leaving the house. But you’ll check Snapchat every five minutes to see all the friends that are having fun without you. Then you’ll whine about how they didn’t invite you, or about how they didn’t personally pick you up and drag you out when you declined their invitations.

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

You’re going to get into a fight with one of your close friends. Maybe she ruined the group costume by dressing unique. Maybe you’re secretly annoyed that she’s dressed sexier than you and is getting all of the attention. But the fight will be short and you’ll both get over it–and then do body shots off each other.

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

You’re going to post a super embarrassing selfie while holding a glass of whatever it is you’re drinking. Hopefully it’s only on Snapchat and nobody takes a screenshot of it.

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

You’re going to come up with the best costume idea. At least, that’s what you’ll think until the alcohol gets to you. Then you’ll feel like you look like a complete idiot and will beg your friends to take you home. You should’ve dressed as Harley Quinn, like everyone else.

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

Somehow, you’re going to end up at the wrong place at the wrong time. You’ll either stop by your ex’s Halloween party or run into him at a bar. And instead of looking the other way, you’ll have a conversation with him. Maybe you’ll hook up or maybe you’ll get into a screaming match. Either way, you’re going to regret it in the morning.

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

You’re going to get drunk on wine and end up arguing with some bratty kid that hasn’t even hit double digits. Then you’ll get into a fight with his parent–or the slightly older sibling that was forced to drag him around. Either way, your house will probably end up getting egged.

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

You’ll invite your close friends over to watch horror movies and you’ll make a drinking game out of it. Whenever you see blood, you drink. Whenever there’s a sex scene, you drink. Whenever you get bored, you drink. You’ll end up wasted before the first movie even finishes and then you’ll be pissed at yourself for blacking out when you were supposed to have a tame night in.

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

You’ll make your own costume and end up ruining it by the end of the night. Maybe you’ll stumble and break a heel. Maybe you’ll get a drink splashed in your face that will ruin your perfect makeup. Either way, you’ll end up crying (or screaming) about how much hard work you put into an outfit that fell to pieces.

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

You’re going to attempt to go trick-or-treating, even though you’re decades too old for it. Some houses will give you candy, but there will be that one person that refuses to hand you anything. You’ll make it your mission to toilet paper their house, but once you get to 7/11, you’ll get distracted by all the food and stock up on chips instead.