When Nothing Goes Right, Use Your Heart

What is something you feel that you need more of- this very second- that would greatly improve your current state of being?

Money?

Time?

Sleep?

Patience?

Liquor?

There is no point in sugarcoating; life definitely feels like a giant shit show sometimes. It is much easier to signal and release negative energy and create a complaint list than it is to focus on the seemingly little blessings we’ve already acquired. I’m sure all of us could use a little more of everything listed above, but the ugly truth is- it isn’t always possible. However, there is one thing we can always give/receive that will ultimately lessen the blow of that realization:

Love.

No, I am not writing this to compare hardships- it is time to commiserate on the fact that we all have hard, and there is no standard way to judge the severity. I am not writing this to impose guilt and downsize real problems by emphasizing all of the incredibly cliché things that we all should be thankful for. I am simply writing this because although we may not notice, in the midst of everything that goes on in each and every one of our lives, love is one of our most basic and fundamental needs.

And within our need to be loved, a parallel need to love and care for others exists as well.

When I say the word love, I am not referring to the romantic love you see/feel between two partners- I am referring to the different languages that exist within. I do not believe these languages should be confined within actual relationships, but that they should be spoken fluently by all of us. From words of affirmation, to acts of service, to simply spending quality time- there are a number of ways we can spread kindness, happiness, and love (thus promoting others to do the same). After all, it truly doesn’t cost a dime to be a decent human being.

So, let that soccer mom coming out of the drive thru during dinner rush into your lane of traffic. Promote some good karma.

Call an old friend/family member you haven’t seen in a while and meet up with them.

Smile at a stranger.

Thank the next person you see in uniform and tell them to have a great day- whether it be a police officer, a janitor, or your local gas station attendant.

Compliment your coworkers on any recent achievements, big or small.

Compliment any and everyone else, too.

Be proactive in creating value for yourself- ask what you can do to help, or if there is anything you can do to make someone’s current situation easier/better.

Lend a listening ear to someone who needs one.

Take your dog (or I mean hell, offer to take someone else’s dog) for a walk with a pocket full of pennies and place each penny face up for others to find.

Pay attention to the beauty in your surroundings: the colors, the shapes, the people, the life.

Some of these things take 5 seconds, and have the capacity to fuel a person’s entire day with a positive attitude and positive thoughts. The best part is- making others feel good makes ourselves feel good. Giving help to others protects overall health twice as much as aspirin protects against heart disease. It isn’t just that kind people also tend to be healthier and happier, or that happy, healthy people are more kind. Experiments have actually demonstrated again and again that kindness toward others actually causes us to be happier, improves our health, and lengthens our lives.

I don’t have a standard list of suggested solutions for anyone’s problems- I don’t even know how to go about solving my own most of the time. But if I have learned anything in the stupid amount of time I’ve spent focusing on all of life’s unfortunate events, it’s that they will always exist- and because of that fact alone, they don’t deserve all of my energy all of the time.

They don’t deserve yours, either. Relieve your mind. Love yourself by actively spreading more love and kindness. It will give you a new sense of importance. It will circulate positivity into your life. It will influence those around you to do the same. Life doesn’t have to seem like a shit show. Change your perspective.

You’ve survived 100% of your absolute worst days already- you’re doing great.