The Everyday Struggles That Only Curly Haired Girls Understand (Please Get Your Fingers Out Of My Hair)


There’s a nice romanticism that comes with all forms of curly hair- tresses falling down past your shoulders, curls in your eyes, bouncing long ponytails- these of course exist in a renaissance painting and not in real life. So, get your fingers out of my hair unless you want them lost forever in the forbidden forest on top of my scalp.

I do understand the appeal. There’s a curly Frank Gary resembling piece of architecture that looks soft within grabbing distance from you and you want to touch. Don’t. It takes far too much effort and hair product to wrestle these strands into just laying free.

I promise you I am nowhere skilled enough or motivated enough to try and fix it up again, if my hair is out both the weather and my patience have cooperated, don’t ruin it.

Even asking boarders frustrating. Consider the fact it more often than not ‘No’ elicits a negative response, or even consider how uncomfortable you’d be trying to politely worm your way out of that situation. That is to say it puts those of us who are card carrying members of the sensitive kids club in the awkward position of having to say ‘No.’

Now, my inability to utter a two letter word isn’t entirely your problem. But you do make it your problem when half way into asking you’ve already wedged your hand into my locks and proceed with the following

“It’s knotty!”

“There’s just so much.”

“Oh my god it feels like dolls hair/sheep’s wool/etc.”

“Can I boing a curl? Oh my god it goes right back.”

“Does this hurt?”

To you they’re reactive observations to something new, to us it’s defeating old news. Yes it takes so long to dry, in fact it’s still moist now. Yes it does take forever to straighten, that’s why it’s not straight now. Oh, you think it looks better straight?

Have you considered keeping your backhanded opinions in your mouth? No it hasn’t been permed or curled, yes I promise. No I don’t curl it every day. Yes it’s frizzy, yes it’s thick, yes it’s probably in your way in a group selfie but it’s mine.

Those of us with curls are used to the double takes and the odd child saying ‘wow’ on public transport when you shake your bun out. For all the attention a curly crown gets, from the complimentary to the unwarranted, is it so hard to look and not touch?

Curly hair, mystifyingly thick and gravity defying as it is, isn’t there for your tactile pleasure.

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