The Fine Line Between What We Want And Don’t Want: Choose This Side


There isn’t a day that goes by that we aren’t faced with making a decision. Depending on the degree of importance, there comes a varied level of thinking…and more thinking. Sometimes the response is clear and the next steps are naturally revealed. Yet there are times when things seem cloudy, perhaps frightening, and we feel as if we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

There are those decisions that are made without much impact through pre-existing systems, routines, and habits. For example: what time to wake up/go to bed, when to take a lunch break, what to make for Tuesday night dinner, and how to re-organize the bedroom closet. Then there are those decisions that are moderate such as: accepting/offering a second date to a person of interest, deciding on when to take a vacation, and clearing a weekend to visit family despite a big workload. But as life becomes more intertwined with others and professional and personal responsibilities stack up, it seems to be that there isn’t enough time in the day that there was once and decision making can become more complicated.

Nowadays, we are faced with so many options that it becomes even more difficult to make a selection, commit to ourselves and/or others, and can’t help to believe that there is something bigger and better that awaits us on the other side of the metaphorical door that may or may never open in the way we hope.

But what about those decisions that no longer are guided by the mind because the heart and our emotions have taken over? These decisions come in the form of taking the risk to enter into a committed relationship or end one after many years of marriage, asking a boss for a well deserved raise so the bills could be paid as the cost of living rises, and honoring a loved one’s wishes while they are near the end of their life.

Life has a funny way of showing up and surprising us, doesn’t it? There are times that we’re presented with exactly what we have dreamt about, hoped for, and prayed on. Just as we’re on the brink of getting what we want or perhaps we actually obtain it, we don’t actually realize it showed up to appreciate it or we decide we no longer want it. There are also those times that we fight tooth and nail for what we want and sooner or later we get tired, defeated, and come to learn that it’s not going to happen…period. But then something amazing happens; 20/20 hindsight vision sets in. In time, we come to see that the universe actually did us a favor because perhaps in the end what we wanted wasn’t actually going to serve us in the long run.

When faced with a richness of opportunity or with minimal options, it’s of equal value because we must decide what it is we want or don’t. We have the freedom to make choices and must take ownership for what it is we have chosen—for better or for worse. But the beauty of life is that if in fact we have chosen in a way that doesn’t feel right, we can always re-set and find a way to navigate to a different destination. And if in fact we have chosen in a way that feels good, the choice will further unfold with its many blessings along the way.

The long and the short of it is this: choose what it is that gives you harmony in both mind and heart. It may take a day, month, year, or years to actually arrive at the decision. But when both elements of being are aligned, the contemplation ends and the living begins.