The Internet Needs Change


General question: Has anyone else observed that the internet is gradually becoming a nightmare? “Nightmare” in this context is of course vague. Interpret it as you wish. The nightmare to me is being bombarded with content that makes me more miserable than I am on an average basis. More specifically, I’m referring to written content.

Why are we constantly being told what to do via half-ass blog articles? Why are we continually thrown derivative, relatable garbage that’s supposed to make us say, “So true!” Please stop it immediately, bloggers. If you’re not on board with what I’m saying, here’s an extensive breakdown of the article types I see daily:

– How you should look in order to be attractive to the opposite sex.

– How you should act in order to be attractive to the opposite sex.

– You should travel the world. Here are some hackneyed reasons why. You have a ton of money laying around just waiting to be spent, right? Use that shit to fly around the globe.

– How to make yourself happier. Try to make it through this list without placing your neck under a buzzsaw.

– (Insert number) signs you’re an athlete, bookworm, Jersey girl, flirt, beach bum, basic bitch, regular bitch, sarcastic? This is not a joke, folks. I’ve seen several articles entitled “20 Signs You’re Sarcastic.” If you need a listicle to explain this to you, you don’t need that listicle. You need a helmet and a drool cup.

– You have depression and you’re not alone! This is breaking news! You’re not the only person who feels like a complete piece of filth living in a world of non-stop misery!

– (Insert number) things only short girls understand. Replace “short girls” with retail workers, servers, dope fiends, or any title imaginable.

– The type of people in EVERY group of friends. You know, because we all live in a sitcom. We all have flourishing social lives in which we befriend colorful characters of all sorts. Relatable!

– Why (Insert physical trait) is the SEXIEST.

– (Insert number) things that are keeping you from finding love. Make sure you dedicate your life to seeking out that special someone. Don’t waste any more time being yourself or you’ll never find a partner. Let’s make psychotically searching for a soulmate our top priority.

By now you’ve gotten the point. Trust me, I know I’m coming across as a dejected bastard. And I am. I’m merely hoping others realize how absurd all of this.

I will not sport a man-bun. I will not get tattoos because a plethora of female bloggers think they make a guy “so much hotter.” For better or for worse I will continue being who the hell I am, inside and out.

Additionally, I don’t need to be related to. It might sound crazy, but I know who I am and how I feel. I played soccer my entire life. A list isn’t going to help me better understand this fact. I enjoy spending time on the beach. An article which explains why the beach is good isn’t necessary. However, I can’t speak for everyone. Maybe someone out there has mixed feelings about the goddamn beach! That article might just sway them in favor of the shore.

Now, the blogs about mental illness are understandable. Many writers are coming from the right place and aiming to help. If that’s your intention, give the reader something new and worthwhile. I have several mental illnesses (shocker) and I know I’m not alone. How do I know I’m not alone? I live on the planet Earth, you guys. I’m aware of the world. I personally don’t think we need yet another “You’re Not Alone In Your Depression” piece. It’s nice to know you’re not the only one. People, I guess, want to be reminded of this. Therefore, it’s a writer’s duty to provide material. With that being said, it’s also the writer’s duty to ensure the material isn’t vapid and meaningless.

My overall hope is to see more creative, inspired reading content strewn throughout my Facebook timeline. Is this not what others want? If my timeline is any indication, online users don’t want inventive material from online publications. The articles shared by my Facebook friends are primarily:

A) Telling people what to do or how to feel, or
B) Some trash that readers are supposed to relate to.

I know damn well this isn’t all that’s out there. I can conclude, however, that this is what the majority of millennials want to read. Either I’m an old soul, just plain miserable, or both. Likely both. As an old miserable soul I will not let what’s popular dictate my writing. I will not cater to the 20-something crowd or write solely to get views. My fellow writers, I encourage you to do the same. Stop with the click-bait. Stop with the attempts at making audiences remark, “Wow this is so me!” And please, for the love of all that is Holy, stop with the useless listicles that nobody’s gaining anything from.

Some of you might genuinely like the writing I’m ranting about. You’re obviously entitled to read and enjoy whatever you like. Be on your merry way. Within me is an ounce of hope that many feel exactly as I do. We can all play our part in not catering to what’s getting the clicks.

If my stubborn ways keep me from getting published then so be it. I have no issue with being broke. I write for the love of writing itself, and all that it does for my heart and soul. I write to release the thoughts that run rampant through my crazed mind. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t write to entertain as well. Regardless, I don’t write to get views. I don’t write with the intention of being relatable. If by some chance you relate to my writing, that’s marvelous. I love when readers send me emails in response to an article. In all honesty, that’s partially what keeps me going. But I will never write with the aim to receive clicks from users who simply read and move along. Lastly, I will never publish some debris in which I tell readers how to look, act, or live their lives. “But you just told us what we shouldn’t be writing and reading!” This is different, ladies and gentlemen. I’m not entirely sure how, but for the sake of my ego I’m telling myself it is.