The Kinds Of Guys I Have Liked Or Loved Or Been Broken By
The kind of guy who you break up with and listen to Free Fallin’ and understand it for the very first time.
The kind of guy you write love poems about sleeping next to for three years after you stop speaking to him.
The kind of guy who responds “ok.” when you text him that it’s too hard for you to be with him, and never talks to you again.
The kind of guy you never actually break up with because you are certain he will be similarly disaffected by the idea of losing you, and that possibility hurts enough that you keep on seeing him.
The kind of guy who says ‘you were too fat for me anyway.’
The kind of guy who says they’ve never met another girl in the world like you, and makes you believe it.
The kind of guy you take out of your phone over and over again, but always end up adding back in because you’ve memorized his number, anyway.
The kind of guy who makes you wish you were born dumber, so that being with him would feel like a gift instead of something you settled for, like how in high school you thought the food at Applebees was good and that life would never be better than it was now.
The kind of guy your neighbors hate because you are constantly listening to Jagged Little Pill but you know in your heart only Alanis (and other women, everywhere) understand.
The kind of guy who reads everything you write because it makes him feel wealthy in some way, like he has the good taste and good fortune of being with you.
The kind of guy who could love you, but chooses not to.
The kind of guy who calls maybe a hundred times between 2 and 7 am some nights, and makes it feel like your fault for being asleep and not talking him off whatever proverbial ledge he has put himself on.
The kind of guy who doesn’t read anything you write, and tells you it’s because he doesn’t ‘get’ it.
The kind of guy who makes you want to give up.
The kind of guy who calls you a stupid bitch once as a joke kind of, and now has two kids and seems extremely happy on Facebook.
The kind of guy who tells people you are ‘wonderfully sensitive.’
The kind of guy who makes you wish conversion therapy for straights was a thing.
( But also // maybe // I think )
The kind of guy who makes you listen to the happy Taylor Swift songs, and believe in them.
The kind of guy who makes you believe, in general.
The kind of guy who makes you feel like you’ve never loved anyone before and that’s why it always felt wrong.
The kind of guy who is human.
The kind of guy who deserves for your heart to be whole, and not offered up in pieces because you are afraid he is like all those others.