The One About Conversations We Keep Having
By Thoughtis
Like the show Friends, many human conversations have earned syndication deals in the last few years. That means that, like the show Friends they re-run over and over again, and they are so pervasive they’re seemingly everywhere, all the time. Like the show Friends, some of them can be quite enjoyable, some of them can be a little tiresome, and some of them make want to set my television on fire to stop them from continuing. Like the show Friends, some of these I couldn’t BE any happier to never experience again. Like the show Friends, I love some of them and I will drop everything to be involved with them, even for the millionth time, even if I already know how it ends, just because they’re comfortable — the pajama pants of discussions. Here are a few of the many syndicated conversations, written in the form of episode titles because it’s relatable, like the show Friends.
The one about how SNL used to be funny and how it’s such a cliché to say it used to be funny.
The one with the Second Avenue subway and how it’s never, not never, not in a million years, going to be finished.
The one where someone criticizes the two-party system.
The one about how speakeasies aren’t cool anymore.
The one about how people who think speakeasies aren’t cool anymore just can’t get into speakeasies anymore.
The one about how I’m a vegetarian and it’s weird, but you’re glad that I don’t care if you eat meat.
The one about how you eat meat and it’s weird, but I’m glad that you don’t care I eat Trader Joe’s soy chorizo.
The one about how there was a British Office and you liked that one better.
The one about how there was an American Office and you liked that one better… until Steve Carell left.
The one about how you like things spicy, but not painful.
The one about how you like your <blank> the way you like your coffee.
The one with all the farmers markets.
The one where a ton of people have moved in and it ruined the neighborhood.
The one where a ton of people moved away and it ruined the neighborhood.
The one with regional dialects.
The one about how Community is underrated.
The one about how brunch is overrated.
The one where the women’s bathroom has a huge line while the men’s bathroom doesn’t.
The one with the “Loo.”
The one where everyone says what route they took to get here.
The one where I complain about a film remake.
The one with the Facebook privacy concerns.
The one where the internet ruins everything.
The one where the internet fixes everything.
The one where everybody is getting married/having a baby/never getting married and it’s freaking us out.
The one where Time Warner is terrible.
The one with all the Dorito flavors.
The one where some jerk whines about conversation topics.