The Reality Behind Our Goodbyes

I had to hug you goodbye, again. Except this hug was different than the others. This was an “I don’t know the next time I’ll see you again” kind of hug and it was the first of many I know I will have in my near future.

Saying goodbye is always hard, and it never gets easier no matter how many times you say it. I watched my best friend walk out the door again, knowing that she is going to hop on a plane and fly back to Texas while I’m all the way up in Pennsylvania. It makes it harder knowing that I’ll be the next one hoping on a plane, but I won’t be going to Texas, I’ll be going to the other side of the world.

It’s something I had to remind myself when I went off to college when I couldn’t hold back the tears for weeks. Not wanting to adapt to my new home and my new life, but constantly missing what I left hundreds of miles down the road.

I was constantly thinking about how much better everything at home was. I thought how life would never be as good, I thought about how I would never have better friends than the ones I’ve made growing up at home. But I now think about how time has changed so much. I think about the new relationships I have built. The new bonds I’ve created and the memories that coincide with those friendships. I created a new home hundreds of miles down the road from where I used to call home. As sad I once was to say goodbye to all my old relationships, I found happiness again. I found happiness despite how much heartbreak I went through at the time because with time comes change.

There are certain people in your life that you know will be there forever, certain people that you know you could call at 3 AM and they would be there for you. Those are the relationships to cherish and that is what I have with you. No matter how many miles are between us, I know that I can count on you because our relationship started that way when we were in a dorm room a few doors down, then when we lived a few minutes away and has continued that way when you moved states away a few months ago.

I know this wasn’t so much of a goodbye as it is a see you later. With this being the first of many hugs I will give in the next month you helped me realize home isn’t so much of a place rather than a feeling.

I won’t miss this place as much as I will miss the people. I don’t think I will miss anything as much as I’ll miss the people around me. I also know that I will see you again soon, even though I don’t know when that day will be I know it will come. I will be making my new footprints thousands of miles across the world like you started making yours thousands of miles down the country.

For now, I’ll see you when I see you and I hope it’s someday soon.