The Ten Commandments Of Long Distance Friendship


1. Talk To Them Like They’re Right Next To You.

It doesn’t matter if you haven’t seen them in hours or months, just talk to them the same way you would if they were actually getting cold brew coffee with you. If you see a cute French bulldog, snap a picture and send it their way. Something ridiculous happen to you on your commute home? Tell your friend! Communication is key. You can’t just talk to them like they’re far away, that’s no fun.

2. Celebrate Them On Social Media.

We are so, so lucky to live in a day and age where it is this easy to keep in contact. So take advantage of it! Shout out exciting things that happen to your friend on Twitter or Facebook or whatever your platform of choice so they know you care, and know how much you think about them. There’s literally nothing that makes your heart grow three sizes than waking up and seeing how proud a friend who is states away is of you.

3. Have Special “Friend Time” And Keep That Shit Holy.

It can be whatever. Maybe you’re both really into The Bachelor so you make sure to watch it at the same time and either text each other or Skype while doing so. Maybe once a month you do a FaceTime power hour. Maybe it’s as simple as drinking wine and Snapchatting each other stupid lip syncs all night. Just have a ritual that is reserved for the two of you and stick to it. 

4. Don’t Just Talk, Ask.

Sure your friend is thrilled because you texted them a picture of that frenchie in a top hat, but that’s not how you have a solid friendship. You have a solid friendship by asking your buddy about things that are important to them. If she mentions a guy, ask about him. If she’s talking about a potential career, ask about it. Don’t just be the friend that only talks about themselves. That friend gets old, long distance or not, and never lasts for long.

5. Tell Your Buddies You See Regularly About Them.

It might sound like this is a weird love affair but you can’t have a solid friendship with such a lack of face-to-face time if you don’t really make them a part of your life. So Caroline that you brunch with every weekend should know about Kaitlyn that you only get to see twice a year. And vice versa! Don’t make either one of those friends have to say, “Now who is that again?” every time you’re telling a story. 

6. Never Forget The Power Of Snail Mail.

We get so much junk and stupid mail that means nothing that it can be really fun to get a postcard or a funny card from someone you adore. If you see something in the aisles at Target when you’re buying candles instead of the deodorant that you initially went to Target for, pick it up and send your pal a quick, “This made me think of you!” note. There’s a reason our parents stress this kind of stuff; no matter your age it makes you feel really special.

7. Make An Effort To See Them When You Can.

It’s hard to have a friendship when you literally never get to hug that person, actually whisper something in their ear, even just get wasted and sing Taylor Swift at the top of your lungs together. If you happen to have a corresponding long weekend and enough in the budget to travel, meet halfway and hang out for real. You’ll both feel so excited and happy and planning it ahead of time gives you something to look forward to.

8. Birthdays Are Holidays.

Your friend not only gets the snail mail, and the shout out on Instagram, but you send them a present and a text and you celebrate with them as much as you can even if that celebration doesn’t include a plane ticket. Make a big deal about them so they never forget how much you wish you were their to blow out the candles alongside of them.

9. Respect Their “Real Life”.

Your friend has other friends, a job, and a life that keeps going even though there are a ton of miles between the two of you. If they aren’t answering, don’t lose your shit. Apologies aren’t needed if they’re hanging out with people and not texting you back. Respect the fact that they have other things to do and be excited that they have such a full and happy life even though you miss them. 

10. Tell Them How Much They Mean To You.

Even if you’re like me and you aren’t a very sappy person, tell your long distance bestie that you love them. And tell them often. Tell them you miss and can’t wait to see them and that even though they’re far away, they have a very special place in your heart.