The Truth About “The One”


You were in a relationship. It didn’t work out. You begin to blame yourself, blame others, then eventually find solace in the fact that they just aren’t the one for you.

“The One.” It sounds magical. It sounds like a fairytale. It sounds like a nice story to tell your grandkids. “Hey, did you know I had my heart broken five times until I met your grandmother? It was a wonderful story. It was fate. She’s the one for me.”

But do you really believe that?

I mean, don’t you think it’s relatively inconvenient for humankind to have just “the one”? Don’t you think it’s nuts that one person is exactly made for only one person and no one else? Well, to believe that there is only a single person for you is to believe that the number of girls in the world must equal the number of boys. It assumes that life is perfect, no one makes a mistake of being with the “wrong” person, no one dies before meeting “the one,” and same sex couples are nonexistent.

Take for example, a girl got her heart broken by a guy. Presuming that the theory of “the one” exists, then that guy was of course, “not the one,” for the simple fact that they didn’t end up together. So then tell me now, what happens if this girl commits suicide because of heartbreak? Or gives up on finding the one for her? Or what if she just simply opted to live her life alone? What happens to “the one” for her? Is he now bound to have a miserable life because the girl opted not to marry?

Or what if “the one” for you ended up with a person of the same sex, do their decisions alter the lives of the persons they’re meant to be with? Do they now also turn out to be marrying the same sex because there’s now a shortage of the opposite sex and a surplus of the same? This sounds ridiculous.

If there is only one person for you and they screw up, then where the hell does that leave you? Are you just bound to keep on having failed relationships because “the one” for you just didn’t fancy the idea of being with someone? Are you now destined to live a sad, unhappy life because “the one” no longer exists? Does your life really depend on the choices of that one person you’re “meant to be” with?

The theory of “the one” is cruel. It’s crazy, and it’s brutal. Also, it is downright impractical.

Honestly, I think people make stuff up to feel better about themselves. Because the truth is, we just have to blame something. And it’s far easier to blame fate for whatever’s going on, than to blame ourselves because we know we have made mistakes. We say that things don’t work out so better things can come along. But is that really the case? This statement relies on the premise that better things is and will always be ahead of us. But are we really so sure that those better things hasn’t already happened, and are now in the past?

It just feels wrong to have to solely rely on fate to bring us to “the one.” I don’t think there are conspiracy theories going on. I don’t think there is only just “the one” for us. I’d much rather believe that we are not bound to be with just a single person. That being said, I think “the ones” would be more appropriate.

Don’t get me wrong, it would be nice to get to tell your grandkids that you have found the one. But you know that it’s just a nice story. That’s all it ever was.

featured image – Micah Walter