The Truth Is I Don’t Even Like Him, I Just Like The Attention

I recently moved to this new city. I don’t know a single person. It’s just me and the open road. I have the chance to reinvent myself. To become something new. Someone different.

And yet I find myself clinging to old habits.

New town. New friends. And yet, same old me.

I’m talking to this boy. A boy I met just a week before I left. We talk all day from morning to night. But, it’s time I let you in a little secret.

I’m not into him. I’m just into the idea of him.

He gives me attention. And in a city where I don’t know anyone, that means more to me than you could understand.

He challenges me.
He calls me cute.
He tells me I’m important.

I mean something.

I know this isn’t love. Hell, this isn’t even lust. He could be anyone.

And yet I find myself craving his attention.

What is it about girls like me? We want what we can’t have.

We confuse lust with love.

My god, I wish I could make it stop.