The Ultimate Thanksgiving Drinking Game That Will Have You In The ER By Dessert


It’s that time of year again, when millions of Americans (and foreigners living here who just want a day off) celebrate Thanksgiving by overeating, overdrinking, arguing with family and friends, and watching or at least pretending to watch American football. In order to get you through Thursday, I’ve come up with the ultimate drinking game. You will need your favorite liquor, a separate drink, some patience, and a sense of humor. Enjoy!

Take a shot of liquor every time:

  • Someone comments on this being the first Thanksgiving you’re spending with your significant other.
  • Someone asks, “Why are you still single?” or “How is your love life?”
  • Someone brings up your ex, and ask how they are doing (and what happened between the two of you).
  • Someone asks, “How is school?” or “How is work?”
  • Someone takes a selfie at dinner.
  • Someone texts you juicy gossip about somebody else when you’re all at the table.
  • Someone begins a sentence with, “Have you been watching the news?”
  • Someone talks shit about all the family members that aren’t there.
  • Someone says something along the lines of, “I really don’t think this Mike Brown situation had anything to do with race.”
  • Someone begins the sentence “Remember when…” and proceeds to tell the same old embarrassing story about you as a child.
  • Someone says, “Not to be racist but….”
  • Someone brings up immigration and informs everybody about their “expert” views on it.
  • Somebody tells you what they are shopping for on Black Friday.
  • Someone keeps talking about how much they can eat.
  • Someone raises a very contentious political topic in a very angry way, making sweeping generalizations about specific groups of historically disadvantaged people.

Pour one out:

  • If someone says something about a relative that passed away recently.
  • If someone has a moment of silence for all those who have lost their lives unjustly this year.
  • If someone expresses their thoughts for all those who are feeling lonely this year, or are away from family and friends.
  • If someone makes a statement about the real history (and genocide) that occurred on that first Thanksgiving, and how we should all remember that.

Finish you drink when:

  • Somebody engages you in an enlightening discussion about politics, society, or anything else, really.
  • Somebody expresses concern for those who have to work on the day.
  • Somebody says why they won’t be going Black Friday shopping.
  • Somebody stops someone else from raising a contentious issue that will get people raged, in tears, fighting, or all-round ruining what is if nothing else, A DAY OFF.

Disclaimer: This was just for laughs. Please don’t actually drink this much. 

Featured image – Shutterstock