The Wrong Person Will Make Modern Dating Feel Miserable

The wrong person will make you wonder why you bother with modern dating at all. They won’t want to put a label on your relationship. They won’t want to talk about where the relationship is headed or even about how they currently feel about you. Emotional conversations will be off the table. The only thing you’ll talk about will be superficial things, like music and movies and sex. It won’t get any deeper than that. There will be an invisible boundary between the two of you, stopping you from getting to know each other too intensely, stopping you from developing a strong, permanent bond.

The wrong person will get your head spinning. They will leave you with more questions than answers. Your conversations with them will be part-guessing-game because there will be things you aren’t saying, things they aren’t saying, conversations you want to have but never get the opportunity to have. It’s not like they will put your mind at ease even when you do bring up your concerns. They will talk in generalities, dodge questions, avoid giving you a straight answer. They will send mixed signals along with every text. They will get your hopes high and bring them crashing down within the course of a single conversation. You will never know exactly what they’re thinking, and that’s the way they prefer it. They want to be a stranger to you, even when they’re in bed with you.

The wrong person will make you wish you could skip past the flirting stage and skip straight to the serious relationship phase. They will make you yearn for a time when you’re not tiptoeing around each other, hiding flaws from each other, playing roles to impress each other. All you will want is to sit in comfortable silence with someone, to not have to wonder whether they are going to bolt if they get bored, to not have to question whether they’re only around as a temporary adventure, a way to pass the time until they find something else shiny and new to distract them from their problems.

The wrong person will make you wonder whether love is only a myth, whether it’s possible to stay with someone forever with the way the world works now, whether you’re searching for something that no longer exists. You will have a hard time believing that anyone is capable of staying put when you’re with someone who gets skittish every time you open up to them, every time you try to talk about something real, every time you bring up the concept of the future.

But when you find the right person, dating will feel comfortable again. You’ll fall into a natural rhythm. You won’t be met with nearly as many questions and concerns. You’ll be open and honest and transparent with each other. You’ll let each other know how you’re feeling. You’ll place the same amount of effort into your planning and your texting as true equals should. Your relationship will be a source of comfort for you, not a source of stress.

When you find the right person, they will make modern dating feel worth it again.