There Might Be A New ‘Twilight’ Movie On The Way, Proving 2017 Is The Worst

If I believed in signs from the universe, I’d think this is the biggest one that proves the world is actually coming to an end: at this exact moment, in some dark, dingy office in Canada, Lionsgate Studio producers are in the talks of creating a new Twilight movie. If you aren’t afraid, you should be.

I honestly don’t understand the entertainment industry’s weird obsessions with spinoffs. Like OK, I get it, the original was popular, but haven’t they ever heard of the sophomore slump? The sequel is never as good as the first. So why do they think a fifth Twilight movie is a good idea? Does that mean it’ll be five times as bad as the original? I couldn’t even get through the first part of Breaking Dawn.

According to Variety, Lionsgate CEO Jon Feltheimer wasn’t exactly sure what Edward and Bella’s future held, but he seemed pretty certain that a Twilight spinoff was bound to happen once he managed to get all the right people together — he claimed there was a lot more story to tell, which I can’t even imagine because I got bored after the second movie. He also said he was interested in seeing a Hunger Games spinoff, which, eh.

Please, Hollywood creatives, do me a favor and let these franchises die. Unless you plan on casting Tom Holland in something. Then by all means, have at it.