There’s A Hopeless Romantic Inside This Guarded Exterior


I pretend to be the kind of girl who is tough and does not believe in fairy tales or romantic movies.

I make myself believe I am the kind of girl who never wants chocolates and flowers, and dinner dates on special days.

I make you believe I am not the type who dreams about sweet, tearful proposals and princess-like weddings because they are only superficial. I make you believe that, like you, I am more on the practical and realistic side of life where action is more important than cheesy words.

I pretend to be tough because I know that is how you want me to be. I pretend not to care about those silly, shallow things because it is easier that way for you and me.

I pretend to be that kind of girl to save my heart from disappointment knowing that those kinds of things would never happen in my life. But deep inside me, there is a dreamy, weak girl who sometimes wants to fall out of the rigid character of tough, who hopes to experience how it feels to be treated like a real princess in a world full of heartbreaks and lies.

Sometimes a tough girl also wants to believe in fairy tales and romantic movies, where a prince would come to free her from loneliness and despair. A tough girl sometimes wants feel loved by being brought to dinner dates on special days with chocolates and flowers, and sometimes teddy bears, on some romantic place with candle lights under a night sky full of sparkling stars.

Sometimes she daydreams about how she would look into her lover’s eyes and hear the three words that would send a chill down her spine.

Sometimes, a tough girl also imagines how a surprise marriage proposal for her would go and she wonders about how she would tearfully but happily say “yes” to her lover. She sometimes envies those other girls she sees who get to have their dream weddings. And so, sometimes she dreams about how beautiful she wants her own wedding to be, what the color of her wedding dress would be, what kind of flowers she would have for her own bridal bouquet and what song would be playing while she is walking down the aisle toward her handsome prince to whom she would vow to love and to live happily ever after with.

She also imagines the most beautiful words that would make up that vow she would swear to willingly fulfill forever.

A tough girl should be allowed to have a soft heart who dreams about beautiful things. They may be shallow, superficial or too good to be true, but they are beautiful things that could put color, wonder, and hope in her life. Sometimes, a tough girl should be allowed to be vulnerable and let a knight in shining armor save her, not from being a damsel in distress, but a lady in loneliness. She should not be denied of being loved tenderly despite her tough façade.