This Is How I Expect You To Love Me (Because I Deserve What I Want)

Real talk:  I am over casual dating. I am not interested in anymore guessing games. Why haven’t I heard from him in two days? I wonder how he feels about me. I wonder if we’re on the same page. I know what I want and what I deserve. I want someone to choose me, every single day — whether we had a good day or a tough day. 

I want to be craved. I want someone who isn’t scared that I consume his thoughts, but is excited. I want someone who looks forward to spending time with me and who misses me deeply when I’m absent. I want someone who always wants me physically, whether I’m dolled up and put together, or am just waking with morning breath. I want someone who is terrified of losing me, and who can’t imagine his life without me.

I want to be respected. I want a man who silences his phone when we go on a date. I want him to understand that personal space is needed sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I’m trying to push him away. I want him to understand that not every single day is a happy, pleasant day, but that doesn’t mean I love him any less.

I want him to know the difference between harmless and hurtful jokes. I want there to be open communication, whether it’s about something good or bad. I want honesty, loyalty, faithfulness, and trust. I want both relationship problems and secrets to stay between us. I want to be able to tell him my secrets in confidentiality. I want a man that knows respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship. I want a man who understands what respect is.

I want to be admired for the person I am. I want to be true to myself, and know that he supports me. I want him to know everything there is to know about me and still think I’m the best girl in the world for him. I want him to look at me with admiration and with a glow in eyes that even strangers on the street can see.

I want his love for me to be clear as day. I want the giddy kind of love that makes our friends disgusted (in a a joking and loving way, of course). I want to laugh together. I want the kind of love that allows my parents to rest easily knowing that their daughter is taken care of.

I want him to come home from work, excited to tell me about his day and to hear about mine. I don’t want to stare at the ceiling all night after an argument wondering where we stand. I want to know, always, that his heart beats for me, and only me.

There are plenty of mediocre things in life, and love should not be one of them. Never settle for less than what you want and deserve. Fall in love with someone who meets your standards.