This Is How I’ll Remember You

It takes a lot of me whenever I hinder myself going into that deep hole somewhere inside my brain where every memory of you lives. But this is how I remember you.

Every morning I spent with you is something so beautiful because, whenever I wake up in the morning and as the sunlight hits my eyes, I remember how you would slowly caress my hair and give me a slight and gentle kiss on my lips, and you would slowly whisper in my ears good morning, I remember how it left a giant smile in my face. If you’d had to leave early, you would always put a glass of water by the table next to my bed merely reminding me that I should drink water before I leave my bed.

Every night I spent with you is just as good as the mornings. Because every night lingers in every inch of my skin. We would talk all night about our dreams and plans, or we would watch different movies until 4 in the morning. Before we would fall asleep, I remember snuggling and inhaling every scent of you as if it would be the last night that we would share together. Then you would hold me so tight protecting me from bad dreams that may occur that night. I remember how sleeping next to you made me feel safe and secure every night.

Every time I would feel anxious and nervous. I remember you standing there by my side as you would slowly fit your hand with mine, as you guide me and ensuring me that I can do this. I remember your face smiling at me simply reminding me that everything is going to be alright and that you will be there no matter what.

Every time I would feel scared about losing you. I remember you grabbing my waist, and you would hold me so tight as if everyone in this world is trying to steal me away from you and you would tell me that I was the only that you will ever love and that you would never leave my side. That would assure me that I don’t have to worry about losing the love of my life.

I remember every kiss we gave each other, every laugh and secret we shared with one another, all the I love you, all the surprises, and all the letters we gave to each other. I still remember it all. From the first time you held my hands, the first time you kissed my lips, the first time you held me in your arms to the very first time up to the last time our soul collides, I still remember every bit of it all.

The scent of rain in the middle of autumn it reminds me of you. The color of the sky as the sun sets in the first day of spring, it reminds me of you. The warm breeze of wind during summer, it reminds me of you. The stars and the moon in the sky wherever I go, it reminds me of you. Everywhere I go there are little pieces that this world gives me that make me remember you.

You were everything. You took good care of me; you saved me when I didn’t need saving, you fixed me when I didn’t ask you to set every broken piece of me. You were there as a friend when I needed to vent my feelings with someone. You were there as a lover when I needed someone to sweep me off my feet. You were there.

You were my everything, and if you are reading this, I want you to know that this is how I remember every piece of you. I hinder myself from falling into every memory that we had shared before because this is how I remember you. Whenever I feel weak, I have to remind myself that I have lost you long ago and you will be nothing but a memory in a dark space somewhere in the back of my mind that I am still trying to forget.

But love if you would ever think of me, I want you to know that this is how I remember you.