This Is How I’m Going To Love After You


I’m going to tell him I love him the moment I know. I’m not going to wait for time to be right. I’m not going to sleep on it. I’m not going to test the way I feel about him. I’m not going to hesitate. And I’m going to say it face to face not by text or on a piece of paper I found in his apartment.

I’m going to leave my thoughts unfiltered. I’m going to tell him the real reason why I am upset. I’m going to share with him the silliest thoughts and the deep ones.

I’m going to tell him what I really think of him without fearing to lose him. I’m going to speak-up about what I want and I’ll discuss our future together. I’m going to tell him all about the fucked-up stuff of my past. I’m going to let him into my world.

I’m going to love him passionately yet patiently. I’m going to understand his needs without him explaining them to me. I’m going to give him space when he’s upset although it’s not what I want. I’m going to give his friends the benefit of the doubt. I’m going to support him in every little thing he does. I’m going to fight with him not fight him. I’m going to change my ways. I’m going to be a better lover. I’m going to be more mature and wiser. And, I will wait when I must.

I’m going to shower him with compliments. I’ll always make sure he knows how attracted I am to him, how sexy that jacket looks on him and how cute those pants make him look. I’m going to tell him that I noticed his hair cut and that I admire his new style. I’m going to drown him with dirty talk until he can’t handle it anymore. Show him all the ways I’m lucky to be with him. Worship his body like it’s a wonderland.

I’m going to let him be in power. I’m going to show him exactly why out of all the men out there, he’s the one I need. He’s going to know how he makes me happy. That man is going to know what my weak spots really are. I’m going to let him into my most vulnerable moments. I’m going to lose myself right-in-front-of him, right-in-to-him, too.

I’m going to take the risk I didn’t take with you. I’m going to put a label on it. I’m going to be scared to show him to the world but I’m gonna do it anyways. I’m going to be terrified to death that the magic we have might come to an end, but it won’t stop me from building a family with him. I’m going to take him to my favorite place on earth because he’ll be worth it, he’ll be the one who earned it, he’ll be the one I trust.

And I’ll kiss him all the way, like it’s our first kiss, and I’ll kiss him good-morning because this time, I’ll stay. And I’m going to hand him all of me.