This Is How You Recover From Your Failed First Love


You introduced yourself and I responded with my nervous smile.

We walked and I remember the breeze blowing my black laced skirt that day. You talked with such confidence and ease. We sat by the bench overlooking the ocean, the mountains and those seaplanes. I remember you talking and in the middle of a sentence, we’ll hear the engines of the plane departing and we’ll giggle. After dinner we parted ways, and while on the train, I received a text saying, “You’re a liar. You look much prettier in person.” Right there and then, I was hooked.

I love your brilliant mind and how I learn so much from you. You kept me grounded. You remind me to be thankful, to be positive and to never take anything for granted. You push me to be better every day. Your ambitions, the care you have for others and the world, your empathy are all very inspiring. Your thoughts were enthralling. Your ideals and dreams, I revere. Your sweet little gestures make my heart all warm and fuzzy every single time. I love seeing your smile, it brightens my day.

But we slowly crumbled.

The love that led you to explore different things and parts of yourself you never knew existed. The overwhelming amount of love you didn’t know you were capable to give. How do you recover when it hits you that love just isn’t enough?

What do you do when the realization sinks in that you both want different things and it just doesn’t work anymore? How do you move on from the pain of broken promises, criticisms and feeling of inadequacy?

It’s by forgiving the other party. You’re hurt right now, anguished by all the things you wished he did to make it work and the shortcomings that were evident to you. You regret the time you spent on the relationship thinking it was a waste of your time. Let yourself go from these negative thoughts and emotions. In reality, at one point, he was the best thing that happened to you.

He was your partner in crime and you planned and envisioned your future with him. You still have a hundred and one reasons as to why you love him. A part of you is now different and for the better because of that person. You still reminisce of the happy memories and nothing can change the fact that you were once in your happiest during the times you were together. Do not condemn him, instead you forgive and let go.

You continue working towards your dreams and goals. You pick up that hobby you forgotten but really love. You spend time with your friends. Read books by the beach. Don’t lose yourself; love and take care of yourself. You take this one event in your life as a lesson for the future.

Finally, take comfort in the fact that good things end so great things can happen.